Even if parents have recognized that their child has problems, a definite diagnosis of Asperger's brings intense emotion, sorrow and many questions. In their book, Quirky Kids, Perri Klass and Eileen Castello devote a chapter to dealing with a diagnosis and moving forward. Asperger’s syndrome is on the high-functioning end of the autistic spectrum but still presents many problems in daily life.
Dealing with a Sense of Loss when Asperger's Syndrome is Diagnosed
All parents have hopes and dreams for their children and these begin to form before birth. When a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome is presented, some or all of these aspirations are crushed. After grieving for the loss of dreams, it is important to replace them with new ones. These should be along the lines of helping the child fulfill his or her potential. There are many resources available for children with Asperger’s syndrome, and it is important to look into these and see what suits the child best. In spite of their difficulties, many Asperger’s syndrome children are very bright and excel in certain academic areas.
Balancing Family Life and Asperger’s Syndrome
Children with Asperger’s syndrome often have siblings who are unaffected. When a diagnosis is confirmed, parents may turn all their time and energy to helping the affected child. It is vital to maintain a balance and ensure that other children are given undivided attention, and time and space to vent their own hurt and frustration at the diagnosis. As far as is possible and appropriate, include them in what is happening and encourage them to help the Asperger’s syndrome sibling with practising social skills, speech and interaction.
Don’t Look to Cast Blame for Asperger’s Syndrome
No one has positively identified a cause of Asperger’s syndrome. It is unhelpful for parents to dig into their backgrounds and blame some quirky relative for the diagnosis they have received. Casting blame will not change anything and is generally unjustified. It is far better to accept the diagnosis, work through the initial shock and determine to keep family life as normal as possible while helping the child with Asperger’s syndrome to achieve his or her potential.
Any diagnosis of autism can be a hard blow to parents. Dealing with the loss of hopes and dreams is a process, as is learning to balance normal family life with therapies and doctor visits. The important thing is to create new dreams and always look to the future with hope and expectancy.
Reference:
Castello, Eileen and Perri Klass, Quirky Kids, Ballantine Books, 2003
Debbie Roome - Debbie Roome is an award-winning freelance writer, journalist and novelist with over 25 years experience.
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