Cyber-bullies attack individuals through the use of cellphones, computers and other technological devices. Strategies used include messages, photos and videos. Bullying in any form is not acceptable and the problem needs to be addressed.
Who Confronts Cyber-Bullies
A victim of cyber-bullying often responds to the attack in an effort to put a stop to it. They commonly do this by trying to explain their point of view in the hopes that the bully will understand and leave them alone. This seldom works and the attention often encourages a cyber-bully to intensify their attack.
The best way to handle a cyber-bullying situation is to get help from someone who has authority over the culprit and is able to enforce change. It is important to address the behaviour of the bully rather than his or her accusations otherwise they will attempt to blame everything on their victim.
Cyber-Bullies Responses to Confrontation
When a cyber-bully is challenged about their behaviour they usually react in one or more of the following ways:
- Denial – the bully turns the blame back onto his or her victim and says they need to put things in perspective. This may come along with insinuations that the matter is trivial and not worth worrying about. The victim is accused of kicking up a fuss about nothing and told they need to move on. This strategy is simply a way of blaming the victim and so the cyber-bully can deny their own responsibility in the situation.
- Retaliation – the cyber-bully ignores the issues raised by their victim and sets off at a tangent. Small offences are blown into big dramas and they may launch an attack that includes lies and accusations. It also deflects attention away from the original problem. A confrontation may lead to an increase in cyber-bullying and should be handled with care.
- Victimhood – the cyber-bully turns manipulative and claims that his or her victim has caused them distress by his or her actions. They often become very emotional and may blame the other person for causing them health problems by their actions. This is a smokescreen and while they play the victim, they avoid answering the original questions raised.
Who Should Confront Cyber-Bullies
Victims of cyber-bullying need to find someone in a position of authority who can help them confront the perpetrator. Depending on their age and situation, this can include school principals, pastors, counsellors, police and lawyers. Cyber-bullying is never acceptable but needs to be handled carefully as to minimize the emotional damage to the victim.
References:
The Bully Action Guide, Edward F Dragan, Palgrave MacMillan, 2011
The Anti-Bullying Handbook, Keith Sullivan, Oxford University Press, 2000
Debbie Roome - Debbie Roome is an award-winning freelance writer, journalist and novelist with over 25 years experience.
Join the Conversation