Physical Changes before Death

How the Body Shuts Down as Death Approaches

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Death is Part of the Cycle of Life - Debbie Roome
Death is Part of the Cycle of Life - Debbie Roome
Death from cancer or any terminal illness is normally preceded by certain physical changes. Knowing what to look for, helps loved ones to cope with the process.

When a terminally ill person nears the point of death, a number of physical changes take place. Understanding this process helps to calm fears and assuage anxiety.

Different Pace

A sudden decline in health may herald the beginning of the end. This decline is often marked by damage or failure in parts of the body.

Distance

Death is the instant that a person leaves this world and moves into the next. When a person has a terminal sickness, death is often preceded by a stage of separation from the physical world and closeness to the spiritual world. This separation may be seen by a lack of desire to indulge in worldly pastimes and an interest in planning a memorial service and setting affairs in order.

Sleep

Sleep begins to take up more and more time. At first a familiar voice will rouse the person but eventually it may seem they are unconscious. Dreams and visions of God and heaven are common at this stage. Even if the person is unresponsive, keep communicating, touching and expressing love.

Appetite

As body systems shut down, food becomes less important. Instead of forcing the issue, offer cool, juicy foods such as ice cream, yoghurt, jell-o and fruit smoothies.

Energy

As death approaches the person may have a decreased response to the world. Occasionally there may be a final burst of energy but this is usually short-lived.

Skin

A whole range of skin changes can occur as the body shuts down. It may become clammy or flushed, turn grey/blue in color or develop blotchy patches.

Circulation and Blood Pressure

Pulse and blood pressure can become erratic during the last few days. This can cause emotional side-effects and the patient may have outbursts of anger and grief. Don’t take these personally.

Body Systems

Digestion and elimination are among the first to cease. The body may prepare for death by a profuse amount of elimination. If the heart is struggling to pump properly, it can result in swelling of the extremities or in the lungs. Suction can ease the breathing in this case. Shaking is a common effect of the systems shutting down and the best treatment is to hold the person close.

Eyes

When a person is dying, the eyes may remain open and seem to become glassy and stare. It may appear that the loved one sees something in the distance and may even reach out towards this vision. When the eyes are glassy and fixed, death normally occurs within hours.

Hearing and Touch

Hearing normally remains intact to the end so use touch and talk as the end draws near. Even if the person is unable to respond, the contact will be of great comfort.

Breathing

As death approaches, the breathing rate will slow drastically with breaths being far apart. While the breathing is quiet and gentle, death is normally not imminent. As death does approach, breathing may become labored with the person gasping for air. A low throaty gurgling is common and is often referred to as the death rattle. These breaths will slow and come further and further apart until the final breath is taken

Death is something common to all mankind, but not something that most people are familiar with. If a loved one has a terminal disease, it can bring comfort and strength to the family to understand the final stages they are likely to pass through. It will also enable them to support the loved one in the best way possible.

Recommended reading: May I walk you Home by Melody Rossi, Bethany House Publishers, 2007

Debbie Roome, Timothy Roome

Debbie Roome - Debbie Roome is an award-winning freelance writer, journalist and novelist with over 25 years experience.

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152 Comments

Comments

Aug 26, 2008 4:17 PM
Guest :
It's too late now, but I wish I had known about the eyes staying open and being glassy. My husband recently died and that was the one thing I had never heard of. It was scary to see him asleep with his eyes half open and just staring at nothing. Even after death, the nurses could not close his eyes.
Aug 29, 2008 5:14 PM
Guest :
Thank you so much for explaining the signs of dying. It helped me so much to keep in my mind. My grandmother is getting to her final stages and is dying from Bile Duct Cancer. Again Thank You!

Allison G.
Sep 10, 2008 5:40 PM
Guest :
Thank you SO much for this article. My father is dying and I have been following my intuition to guide my actions. It is most reassuring to know that my instincts have been on target. I feel less alone now.
Sep 25, 2008 5:11 PM
Guest :
I am about to lose my father in law and i believe i will be sitting with him through alot of it and at least now i know what to look for to make sure the whole family is there when the end comes.

Nov 11, 2008 11:23 PM
Guest :
My darling dad died 3 months ago from terminal lung cancer. I spent the last day and night by his side at home. He showed all these signs - the glassy eyes staring into space, restlessness during the night and pointing at something I could not see, pulling and plucking at his clothes. He went to the loo leads of times and his urine was very dark, almost brown. The worst for me was the agitation, pacing and delirium during that last night. I felt helpless and he was crying out "Help me, pull this pain out of me". Mum and I stroked him and calmed him down until he fell asleep.
I am so glad we did this - gently stroking and kissing a dying person is very calming for them. He died two hours later. He was asleep, snoring away (which I now realise was the death rattle) and then just stopped breathing, breathed in and out very slowly twice, and then died. I knew he was dead because his eyes turned to glass and stared into space. When I touched the lids there was no reflex. Despite the agitation two hours earlier, the end was very peaceful for him, but a complete shock to us. I had never seen anyone die and did not realise he was so close, but I know what to expect now. I am so glad mum and I were able to reassure and stroke him and let him know we were there by his side right up until the end. We could not have done any more.
Nov 24, 2008 8:04 AM
Guest :
My dad is dying at the moment but he is fighting it so much. The signs you describe I have seen. I had to come back home but I was with my dad Thursday night, Friday through the night Saturday and Sunday. When we saw him Sunday morning we thought it was time. The colour had gone from his body, he felt so cold. The noise in his breathing. My brother and I just held his hands as he lay in hospital he was so cold yet the room was hot. We said its ok dad we are here now you go if you want. But even though he stopped breathing about 3 times, he is still with us. By 3.30pm the colour was back in his body and he was warm. Its like knowing we were there made him stay. Its now 16:00 on Monday and dad is still with us, strong and stubborn to the very end. (My dad is 73yrs and has Pick's Disease, a very cruel illness).
Dec 3, 2008 7:14 PM
Guest :
I had never been with a dying person until my dad passed this past summer. It's god to know that our experience was a normal one. Thank you.
Jan 1, 2009 6:40 PM
Guest :
Has anyone ever heard of someone's eyes turning BLUE (when they were dark brown/green) before death? A friend just lost her husband to lung cancer, and several family members noticed the man's eyes had changed color, just before his death.
Jan 6, 2009 11:38 AM
Guest :
the information you give has been very helpful.my step-fathers been my only experience with cancer.its the hardest thing ive ever had to deal with.i just wish that there were a way to make this easier for my family.would anyone have any advice for getting through this?
Jan 17, 2009 1:44 AM
Guest :
to the person who asked if their loved one had a change of color--the answer is yes. My mother had brown eyes and the day she died (January 10th, 2009), I noticed that her eyes were BLUE. I was very surprised.
Jan 28, 2009 11:56 PM
Guest :
My mother is in the final stages of death suffering from colon cancer...the agitation she experiences is hardest for me, she lashes out at me and the nurses and tries to remove her tubes...she has always been a passive person, so this is out of character for her...I noticed yesterday that her eyes are turning blue...what causes this?...We have talked to her and let her know it was ok to go home to God, but she seems to be fighting to stay for some reason...Thank you all for sharing, it is helpful to read your post as my sister is in denial that mom is dying and I cannot talk to her about the process or my feelings...
Feb 5, 2009 11:41 AM
Guest :
My mother-in-law is in the process of dying. This article helped me very much. Her feet are very cool to the touch and I will be looking for other signs you mentioned. She has Lewy-Bodies disease and it has been a long hard disease. Thanks again for this article.


M.K Osborne
Feb 9, 2009 5:27 PM
Guest :
I am grieving for my Mum and I have n't lost her yet.
My wonderful, caring, special Mum is dying from liver cancer. I can't believe I have just typed that.
We are all devastated particulary because my Mum underwent a massive operation to remove a tumour in her Oesophagos. Mums ribs were broken, her lung deflated, half her Oesophagos and a third of her stomach were removed and the rest of her stomach is now in her chest cavity. All this, for the cancer to come back in her liver less than a year later. Mum has been through so much and I am afraid for what she is about to endure.
I pray that Mum will not be in any pain and that the end will come peacefully and quickly for her.
Mums body is already shutting down from what I have read on this site so far. Her skin is very cool and clammy to the touch even though the room is warm. Mum does n't want to eat at all and I feel she only participates for our sake. Mum is painfully thin. Her weight loss has been dramatic over the past twelve months - as expected.
I don't feel I could ever say a final goodbye to Mum. I know I will have to do this for my Mums sake. But how do I give permission for Mum to go when I don't know how to live without her in my life?
I love my Mum so much and will always be grateful of the life she gave me and my four siblings. She taught me how to live life to the full. Never to bear grudges but to forgive. How to help others and not to expect too much from people. Everything good in me is down to my wonderful Mum (and my Dad)I could go on and on but most of all Mum told me how to love and be loved and ironically this is what is tearing me up inside. It is unbearable for me and yet the end is coming faster than I can cope with.
I have never felt so alone and feel like I am the only one who is in pain. Everyone else is coping far better and seems far more excepting. My Dad is very emotional too but strong at the same time and is caring for my Mum at home. I too will stay every night when the time comes.
I know I should be grateful for the 40 years that I have had my Mum in my life but I still feel cheated out of 20 years or so. My Nan is still alive at 87 years old and I presumed that we would all live happy, healthy, long lives too. I was wrong. One of the most precious people in my life is about to be taken from me and I am unable to do anything about it!
Cherish those closest to you and let them know how much they mean to you.
My Mum knows this.xx
Feb 12, 2009 2:26 PM
Guest :
I noticed that the eyes of both my father and brother, changed from dark blue to a very light blue about a week before they died.
Feb 20, 2009 6:11 AM
Guest :
Thank you very much for explaining the signs of dying. My mother's husband is at the moment dying of brain cancer. He is in last days, if not hours. I translated the article into Czech language few minutes ago( my mom lives in Czech Republic) and my mom found it extremely helpful...so did I. He is showing over 90% of the signs you have described i the article. My mom is absolutely wonderful to him...she is so brave but so scared.
Thank you again!
Bohdana
Feb 23, 2009 11:54 AM
Guest :
My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer 6 months ago and it has been a downward spiral ever since. The hospice nurses visited today and gave an estimation of less than a week left for my grandmother. I have sat by her side and noticed and experienced all the signs. She is now on pure morphine drips every 2 hours to keep her as comfortable as possible. Part of me knows that its the morphine is creating the hallucinations but she has told me that her angels are at the foot of her bed-waiting; not saying a word. She has also heard god's voice telling her everything is going to be ok. Thankfully now after reading this and some others comments I feel a little bit my relieved... I thought I was trying to believe in the hallucinations for the sake of believing but now that I know its not just my grandmother who has experienced these things; I don't feel so crazy...
Feb 25, 2009 8:14 AM
Guest :
Like your last commenter, I wish I had found this information before my husband passed away, it would have helped to know how close he was to death and I didn't know about the eyes remaining open and glassy and the breathing - the medical staff just referred to secretions in his bronchil tubes I wished I had known it was the "death rattle" I just hope he knew I was with him at the end.
Mar 13, 2009 1:25 AM
Guest :
My husband passed away on 3/7/09 at the age of 55 from natural causes due to lung cancer. He was very much in the game yet. We knew he was going to die at some point but I did think we had a lot more time. He was complaining of some pain in his elbow. He did take some tylenol and a pain pill but was still very restless and uncomfortable. I had him take an anxiety pill to help releive him of stress hoping the pain medication would take effect. It was early in the morning and he came back to bed, we were talking, our kitties were running around on top of us, he seemed to relax and settle down and we both drifted back off to sleep. About 15 minutes later he let out a loud moan and a couple of gasps of air and he was gone. His eyes were not focused, I was yelling his name telling him to squeeze my hand but his whole body was limp. He did have a DNR bracelet and standing order but this was not what I had prepared for. I thought he would slowly decline but that was not the case - he was on his 5th different chemo and was still in the fight. I am thankful he went quickly and with dignity but as I said before this is not what I was prepared for.
Mar 16, 2009 11:56 PM
Guest :
Unless a person is born again they will not see the kingdom of God. It is written in John 3:3 Holy Bible. I am a born again Christian. I know my saviour Jesus Christ will be taking my soul to heaven. If a person dies in their unsaved condition they will go to hell where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. It is written. Just the flesh dies but the soul lives forever. Hell is a place of torment and punishment for the unsaved. But God does not wish for us to go to hell. He sent us a saviour, His one and only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. Deeath does not have to be forever. You and your families can know where you are all going. When a born again Christian dies we all know that person is with Jesus after they pass on and we don't mourn long. We know what our eternity will be. You can too. Choose Jesus for salvation and everlasting life. www.jesus-is-savior.com
Mar 16, 2009 11:58 PM
Guest :
Seek salvation through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
www.jesus-is-savior.com
Apr 17, 2009 2:09 PM
Guest :
God knows each person's heart, and it is not up to us to determine if someone is going to heaven or hell. I know a lot of so called Christians that do not act Christ like. My father is dying of lung cancer. I stayed with him for a month, but had to go back home because I have my family to take care of. He is under hospice care, and they will let me know two weeks ahead when they think he might pass. I will get on the first plane when I get that phone call. He is presently bed-ridden, in diapers, not eating very much, and is sleeping most of the time. I talked with him a week ago, and he told me that the end is near. He never said he was a Christian, but he led a good and honest life, and I can't imagine that God would let him suffer in hell. I am not looking forward to that phone call, but I know it will come. I went through this eight years ago with my mother, and she was so afraid to leave my father. He has been heart-broken since her death, and now he is experiencing the same pain that she did. I hope he does not experience pain and that his passing is quick.
Apr 17, 2009 2:11 PM
Guest :
God knows each person's heart, and it is not up to us to determine if someone is going to heaven or hell. I know a lot of so called Christians that do not act Christ like. My father is dying of lung cancer. I stayed with him for a month, but had to go back home because I have my family to take care of. He is under hospice care, and they will let me know two weeks ahead when they think he might pass. I will get on the first plane when I get that phone call. He is presently bed-ridden, in diapers, not eating very much, and is sleeping most of the time. I talked with him a week ago, and he told me that the end is near. He never said he was a Christian, but he led a good and honest life, and I can't imagine that God would let him suffer in hell. I am not looking forward to that phone call, but I know it will come. I went through this eight years ago with my mother, and she was so afraid to leave my father. He has been heart-broken since her death, and now he is experiencing the same pain that she did. I hope he does not experience pain and that his passing is quick.
Apr 21, 2009 8:45 AM
Guest :
Thank you so much for this article.
My mum in law passed away on 27.03.2009 with alzeihmers and i wish that man finds a cure for this dreadful disease soon. My father in law is in his final stages of prostate cancer. he has stopped eating and he is angry at times. he is taking liquid morphine and seems to be delirious at times I pray for all those caregivers who are experiencing a near death situation and may god make it easy on the patients. Tahnk u so much for your information.
Apr 26, 2009 8:31 AM
Guest :
I am caring for my mum now, in her final days. She has CLL (leukaemia) , where we have been told it’s just a matter of days (that was three weeks ago). I find myself searching the internet for information with regard to the last stages just so that I am not shocked when they happen. Mum is either in a state of restlessness or asleep. She tries to talk but instead of a conversation she repeats everything until I hold her hand and calm her down. Her breathing is very laboured. Her fluid intake is reduced but her appetite is good. I myself have had all ranges of emotions.
May 8, 2009 2:35 PM
Guest :
Wow, my dad is showing signs of everything that was mentioned. This was a great help and it eased my mind. It is nice to have a heads up that I should brace myself for the end. Thank you and God Bless.
May 19, 2009 7:07 AM
Guest :
From what i have read here I know now that the end is near for my dad. He has lung cancer and cirrhosis of the liver. We have been with him everyday taking shifts my 3 sisters and I so he won't be alone. But now it is getting harder for him to breath, the rattling has begun. He is non-responsive and blood pressure is 60/40. I don't know how much longer we have with him but something tells me not too much longer.
May 22, 2009 4:27 PM
Guest :
My lovely daughter age twenty eight is starting to show signs. She is already an Angel to me. She has Cerebral Palsy with seizures and her mind age is about a three year old level. She can't seem to get rid of this Pneumonia that developed. She can no longer eat solid foods and is on the last milk substitute that the Doctor can give her and even this is not doing much good. The doctors give her only a short while. I tell her over and over how much I love her but it is so hard to have to say that final goodbye. She is now getting Morphine for her pain as she hurts so much. She just looks at me and you see the tears in her eyes. She can no longer talk but I hold her close to me hoping I don't show my pain to her. I know I have to be brave for her but it is hard when your heart is breaking.
Jun 14, 2009 7:36 AM
Guest :
thank you very much for this i am a nursing student doing palliative care at the moment i also work in a nursing home and i myself have experienced death at first hand, i want to thank you as i now can provide the care that person needs and very much deserve, so thank you again, as mentioned i have lost people that are dear to me and it is always hard to say good-bye when they are ready to leave this earth but when others are not.
Jun 19, 2009 2:56 PM
Guest :
I agree that we should be born again. The bible is truth, and it states that only through Jesus Christ we will see the kingdom of heaven. It is very important to know Jesus Christ, since it is not safe to die unless we know him first. We should be prepared always for death, by knowing our Jesus Christ.
Jun 26, 2009 11:09 AM
Guest :
It is truely an awful ordeal to see a loved one go threw agony and pain. One aunt died in the hospital begging for pain medicine. The other just passed away with Hospice. They allowed her to die peacefully without pain or suffering. Now we are looking at my mother in law to pass with in the next two monthes. Just trying to keep her comfortable and not show that it saddens me to see her progressing along. Hospice has been wonderful to our family and I encourage others to seek it out.
Jul 2, 2009 10:04 PM
Guest :
My brother's heart is functioning at 15%, they say he is at the end of his life it could be days or a couple of weeks. He is weak and gets very pale, white when he sits up. What can we look for, how can he be made comfortable?
Jul 17, 2009 10:42 PM
Guest :
I had been diagnosed with Renal Cell Carcinoma in 1983, at this time I am 52 years old.I have had many surgeries,radiation, chemotheraphy [torisol] which has kept my cancer at bay... Now I have reached end stage... reading all of the coments really touched me overwhelmingly, the love and heartache each of you felt...I have lived from a very unusual point of view. Each day I've let all that I love, know so, things that normally would anger you, just sort of leave you feeling., well , so in charge, because with your knowledge life can be so short, makes you observe emotions so differently...and argue less and communicate more.Leaving will be hard and sad. But I want all who have cared for me [even my Doctors] to know ,how I love and appreciate every moment I have had here...I will not be afraid at the end , only sorry I will not look upon my husband, daughter and sons face agin. My granddaughter Nelly will not remember how happy she has made me ...I am so proud to have lived and shared my life withall who have wandered into mine...Yes it will be sad, but It HAS been a wonderful life....Remember to love and live each moment like it could be your last......Gloria
Jul 20, 2009 4:41 PM
Guest :
he my name is boe and my mum had a blood clot in her lung im only 14 and it was hard but we got throw it we all thourt she was going to die and it was hard o me beacuse she is the madest mum ever .......
Jul 26, 2009 1:32 PM
Guest :
I am so glad that i found this website. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and also pulmonary fibrosis. His condition has been declining over the last few weeks and after reading this, it has confirmed my greatest fears that he could go any day now. I have been dreading this day for the last few months and am very concerned how my two young children will take this. I am hoping my dad will pass away in his sleep peacefully. He has been a fantastic husband, dad and grandad, i am so glad i decided to get married this year. I would recommend this website to anyone who is going through the same as me. I feel at peace and can mentally prepare.
Aug 6, 2009 10:11 AM
Guest :
My father passed away yesterday after suffering from vascular dementia and korsakoff's syndrome diagnosed 3 years ago. In his final weeks he looked like a concentration camp victim. There was nothing left of a once very big and strong man. We had to decide as a family for him what route to take as he was terminal and we decided to not prolong his suffering anymore and bring him back to the 20% he had been over the past 3 yrs. That was hard to do. It is the hardest thing to watch happen. I was with him for the week up to his final hour. I had experienced the process before with another close family member, but it is never an experience you can forget and never altogether the same. He had the glassy eyes, and changes you speak of, but hung on until a family member came to take me for a walk. Whilst my brother was staring out the window and I was on my walk, he slipped away. He was strong and stubborn to the very end. I noticed that whenever I left the room for any period of time, he deteriorated rapidly. I believe in the end he could still hear everything and knew we were there for him. When we put a lemon swab in his mouth to clean it, he bit down on it. He even had a few tears roll down his cheeck at certain times. It was too terrible to see his frail body shut down, but he was given liquid morphine for his pain. He waited to see his family for the last time and even perked up and ate some jelly two days before his death. From having very little in his system he took in 700ml's of fluid - soup, water and ice cream. His strength of spirit was amazing, but we were sad to see him hand on in distress for so long. I believe he was waiting to see people who never came.
Aug 7, 2009 12:27 PM
Guest :
Thank you for this article. My aunt is transitioning from pancreatic cancer. I saw her today and she is in a daze. I do not believe she knew who I was. As much I am blessed to be with her and my family during this final transition, I just do not want to see my once vibrant energetic aunt suffer any more. I will continue to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding...
Aug 19, 2009 4:14 PM
Guest :
my grandma is also in the last stages.the phsysical discription is right on point. she has also given her wishes.she is the pillar that holds this huge family up she often sees dead people from years ago and little beautiful babies we dont question at all what she sees we beleive what she sees i just wish i cud see we love her so much. she was the neiborhood mother for over 50yrs
Sep 17, 2009 1:21 PM
Guest :
my daughter passed away on aug.29, just two and half weeks ago. She was a parapalegic due to a car accident, and just in march was diagnosed with aml.
my heart is broken because i watched her beg for help and fight so hard to stay. For 5 hours she begged me to help and there was nothing i could do except hold her.she would hug me and then push me away.then throw her arms around in the air. i did not see but one of the signs she was passing and idid not realize it until she was gone.could someone explain all this to me?
Sep 25, 2009 2:58 PM
Guest :
Mom died just a few weeks ago from lung cancer. 5 weeks from date of diagnosis to death. When she would cough, there was a horrible smell from the cancer--like rotten meat. She didn't eat during her final week. Her legs would alternately get cold then warm. Her last day was a struggle to breathe...gurgling sounds. The skin around her knees got grayish blue. The nurse gave her morphine and she did not get agitated. Her breathing slowed over the next 30 minutes. We sat with her, held her hands, kissed her, and told her that it was OK to go. Not to be afraid. That we loved her. She opened her eyes and did indeed seem to fixate on some object above that we couldn't see. Her final breath was followed by several fish-like motions with her mouth that we were told were reflex actions and common.
Sep 25, 2009 3:07 PM
Guest :
Mom died just a few weeks ago from lung cancer. 5 weeks from date of diagnosis to death. When she would cough, there was a horrible smell from the cancer--like rotten meat. She didn't eat during her final week. Her legs would alternately get cold then warm. Her last day was a struggle to breathe...gurgling sounds. The skin around her knees got grayish blue. The nurse gave her morphine and she did not get agitated. Her breathing slowed over the next 30 minutes. We sat with her, held her hands, kissed her, and told her that it was OK to go. Not to be afraid. That we loved her. She opened her eyes and did indeed seem to fixate on some object above that we couldn't see. Her final breath was followed by several fish-like motions with her mouth that we were told were reflex actions and common.
Oct 1, 2009 5:39 AM
Guest :
I wish I had found this site a month or so ago. I trawled the internet for answers but found none when I needed them most.
Mum was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer 18 months ago.She always put others before herself, right up to the end.
About 12.50am on a Friday Mum was in so much pain she asked to go into hospital, something she would never normally do, she hated them.The ambulance took her in and we met her there. After she had been in A & E a couple of hours she perked right up and was chatting away, later she was moved to a ward and we went home.
I went up with My older sister to see her that afternoon visiting. Mum told us she had signed a DNR, we were shocked but respected her wishes we knew something just wasn't right. her face was a grey colour, her speach was slurred, her BP and temperature had plummeted. She was also sicking something dark in colour, it was definately neither food or drink. At the end of visiting I kissed her lightly goodbye and whispered in her ear "don't you dare give up". "I wont she said".
My Dad visited in the evening and she said to him "oooh its lovely, no pain", as they had upped her morphine. I was worried and my younger sister stayed overnight with her. She slept most of the time just waking for sips of water.
Although I was worried I didn't want to upset Mum by visiting at a time I normally wouldn't. At afternoon visiting my Older sister, brother and an Aunt went to see Mum. At 2.40pm I received a call telling me to get straight to the hospital and pick up my Dad and younger sister up on the way. We missed her passing by 3-4 minutes, she died at 3pm on 12th Sep 2009. OH boy how I wish she could have held on just long enough for me to say goodbye. It was unexpected and quick as the staff did not have time to even move her to a side room. Her death certificate said the OC killed her but 2 days later her last scan results came back showing very little change. We were told her heart was in a bad way and it was almost certainly that but to change the certificate meant an autopsy which we refused.
Mum was in such a state in those last few weeks, I'm glad she told Dad she had no pain and she died with some family around her.
I can't imagine life without her, she was our rock, my Mum and Mum's are invinsible aren't they?
I asked if anyone would like to write a letter to Mum,that she could take with her,she had loads & photos. I also had a white dove released for her. I love you Mum and always will xxx
Oct 3, 2009 9:30 PM
Guest :
my name is arlene and my father is dying from lung cancer tuesday his dr.s gave up on him and sent him home with 2-4 months to live i wish to thank all of you so much for the information i feel more prepared to help him and myself i have a brother and a sister but neither have helped or spoken to him in years i am his only caregiver and we have put up one hell of a fight over the last 6 months and we start another clinical trial monday it is to late for us his dr.s said but he has not given up and neither will i the cancer has spread to both lungs,abdomen,kidneys,liver and glands i see alot of the dying symptoms i have read about on here but he is still so optomistic and his belief in GODs healing hand is amazing to hear, stay strong and believe in GODs purpose,and bless you all...by doing these clinical trials we hope to help someone else so say a long prayer for my daddy tonight he has done his part as so many others before him
Oct 19, 2009 8:01 AM
Guest :
My father died in July 2009, two years after diagnoses of kidney failure and congestive heart failure. Even though he did not have cancer, the information in this article is by far the best description of what actually happened, system-by-system, with my dad when he passed away. The author has used straightforward language and provided clear descriptions of exactly what one might observe in a patient who is near death. It would be a blessing for this important information to be made available in any discussion related to end-of-life, regardless of the diagnosis. It is comforting to read, even months afterward. Thank you so much.
Nov 28, 2009 6:31 PM
Guest :
2 years ago my father was diagnosed with COPD, emhysemia, right sided heart failure and pulminary odeoma with an aortic anuerysm then 2 mths ago we were told he methosolioma (lung cancer caused by asbesthosis) luckily the doctors agreed as my father already knew he was dying we would spare him from this awful news (he was terrified of cancer) we also agreed no invasive treatement to lengthen his life...there was nothing mroe that could be done...over the last 4 mths my father has fought back from the brink of death more times than I care to remember showing all of the above symptoms, he finally gave up his fight for life tonight 28th nov 2009, please do not be afraid of the death rattle this is merely congestion in the throat that they do not have the strength to cough and clear, watch for changes in breathing my fathers became further and further apart over a half hr til he took his last breath, his heart fluttered a few times but he kept his gaze fixed on myself, I pushed all the love I felt into the warmest smiles I could project and told him to rest as sleep was the best medicine..he died knowing he was truly loved...the wks leading up to this we had confusion, memory loss, plucking at clothes and at times now knowing who we were...the last 2 days he has been sitting up, back to himself and we were having a good old laugh at the guy in 2012 running from a volcanic eruption (as if) he was eating and looked more himself than ever, his sudden deterioration happened over 24 hrs and now he is gone, i had a strange feeling wash over me whislt i was playing with my grandson and rushed to the hospital just in time to give him his last comfort and withing half an hr he was gone, his dignity and strength was astounding, and to the last he fought til his heart gave out, he said his mind was willing but he was scared his body would give in before he did, it did, but his strength was unending and never underestimate hwo hard your loved one will fight to stay and say he/she loves you one last time, just one more time, never give up on them always fight as hard as they do, and love them, love them with all your heart, I will continue to love my father for the rest of my days and he will always inspire me to stay strong no matter what life throws at me, only say it's over when it's over, I never gave up on you dad, you would do the same for me remember, I love you, stay strong for your loved ones, your comfort gives them their strength xxx
Dec 19, 2009 12:35 PM
Guest :
My Father of 88 was at the Portland,Oregon Hopewell House Hospice. His name was Gordon van Antwerp. He had lung cancer from 60 years of smoking one pack of Salem cigarettes a day starting when he was 18 yo. He was diagnosed only 3 months and 3 weeks ago with lung cancer. After 2 months it had spread to 28 other spots throughout his body. Spine, bones, brain. At that time he was having trouble with breathing but could drive and walk a little. I am Craig vanAntwerp, his first of three sons, 58 yo. My Mother of 80 acted very controlling, suspicious and self righteous about the details of my Fathers dieing death. She looked at everyone who visited him as a meddler. And she wanted no one to "view" him after death. (this I found out after the fact) She stopped visiting him for his last two days. She was to be the first one notified about his death. Because of this I did not know of his death until 30 minutes after the fact. I stayed in a guest room at the Hopewell House Hospice with my wife. I was told by the nurse I would be roused at the first sign of his passing. I was 150 feet away from him but because of my Mother, missed being with him for the last minutes of his life. And the staff did not want to cross any lines so instead of waking me later gave me philosophical reasons for the way things turned out after the fact. Like "Your Father didn't want you there when he died" And "he just died, there was absolutely no change, we had no warning". When I got to the room at 5:35 the nurse tried to stop me from opening the door saying,"shes not done preparing the body". I was very disappointed at the way my Fathers dead happened. God, I miss him and wanted to be there. Dont trust a hospice to do the "right" thing. They will only do the "legal" thing. The anger and resentment this has brought up in me will take a while to subside. I should have stayed in his room that night, why didn't I? I woke at 4:30 that morning and layed there tossing and turning, why didn't I go down there to be with him? I love you and miss you Dad. See you on the other side.
Dec 20, 2009 9:33 PM
Guest :
it is gud to see that how could other people respond to the person dying. it is great help and we want more and more information regarding this.
Dec 26, 2009 10:47 AM
Guest :
My dad was diagonized with colon cancer Feb 2008 , a couple weeks later then was told that he had liver cancer and that he had only 6 months to live. He did not pass away until Sept 25,2009. He was very strong and was very active until about 1 month before his passing. He had many of the symptoms mentioned in this article. It hurt me to see him like this and yet it was very hard for me to understand what he was actually going thru. My mom kind of blames herself for not knowing or understanding what he was going thru. My dad had told my mom that he had seen the tunnel of eternity and that there was someone or something at the other end calling upon him about a week before his passing. Once in the hospital he became real quiet and just had a glossy look in his eyes. He would stare out the hospital window as he was looking at something. My mother and myself stayed with hiom both days at the hospital. The morning of his passing both of us told my dad that he did not need to fight any more and that if he was ready to be with God , that we would be ok. I really miss my dad and think of him every day. Thank you for this article. To everyone out there enjoy your time with your loved ones. Because you will never know when there time will be to go be with God . RIP Dad we love you som much and miss you like crazy.
Jan 5, 2010 6:17 PM
Guest :
My Aunt's eyes turned to black blothes all through them. At the time the nurses had not seen it before.
Jan 14, 2010 5:59 PM
Guest :
This is a very helpful article. Finding good, to-the-point information on the internet can be like looking for a needle in a haystack, so thank you for posting and thank you guest commenters for sharing your stories. The combination gives the reader a better sense of what to expect.

My grandmother, 86, advanced alzheimer's, is actively dying as I type. She has had pneumonia since christmas day, and hospitalized most of the time. At first, she seemed to get better, but has been going downhill for about 2 weeks. She can't move now, can't eat or drink (aspiration risk), can't talk. in the past week she has declined to what seems to be a persistent vegetative state- either sleeping or just not there, eyes open, staring nowhere, not focusing on people or things, pupils constricted from 'soft' morphine doses. No longer has facial expressions or squeezes your hand when you hold hers; just unresponsive. She has IV fluids and antibiotics, though it was determined they aren't working. her lung xray a couple days ago showed her lungs were getting worse. we have no idea what the timeframe is, as no one from her care team will even say that she is actively dying though it is obvious. She has cheyne-stokes respirations per the respiratory therapist; i counted 8-9 pauses/beats of apnea/stopped breathing between gasping for breath on Tuesday. She is still alive, though. Her skin is cool, her lips go from blue to red; her face is flushed. Her coughing reflex is gone, so there is considerable gurgling /wheezing with breathing. They stopped suctioning the secretions in her throat because they build up again quickly and her throat was bleeding from the suction head. When they turn her, she still moans as if she is in pain, but there are differing opinons as to whether she can feel pain at this point, but we insisted that they continue with the morphine. we dont know what to expect. the way she looks, sounds, and fitting all of the descriptors, it would seem she would be close to death but she is hanging on. she stopped breathing last thursday for about 20 seconds. I thought she was dead and she inhaled sharply, scared me half to death and was back. That was a week ago today. she was restless earlier in the week. trying to lift her head. moving arms and legs. Sometimes her shoulder spasms/twitches and her whole arm twitches. A week ago her leg was spasming. Anyway, it feels better to write it all out because its confusing and hard to figure out where she is in the process. with advanced alzheimer's , there is no recovery, only waiting for her to be free of the misery. it is hard to grasp how the spirit can keep a body that is trying to shut down from shutting down. all of us but one has said goodbye. I wonder if that one person is holding her back. is that terrible to think? I think i may ask him to please help her and say goodbye and tell her it is OK to go. he keeps cheerleading ("we got you another antibiotic! lets see if it works!) even today. thanks for letting me vent! Peace be with you all and your loved ones.
Jan 19, 2010 10:40 AM
Guest :
Hey all I read this article and it is very informative. I know about most of it because I have a mother that is dying of liver cancer, my husbands grandmother also has alzheimers and his other grandparents are just dying of old age. I am 31 years old and am scared. I shouldn't be lossing my mom so young and then I read about a 14 year old boy on this site that lost his mom and my heart goes out to him. I was in good contact with my moms doctors, and then she became mad at me for finding info out from them and took me off the phone list. and then she accused me of lying to my siblings and then it got even worst and she told my eldest sister she didn't want me to know until she died. we have sense re-connected and I can tell by our phone conversations that she is having trouble remembering stuff and not eating and starring out into space just waiting or thinking i guess so I told my sister she needs and evaluation and told her again and again and now she has taken a turn for the worst and is walking around in her unmentionables and not flushing the toilet and has even fallen so my sister called me and said okay I am talking her for and evaluation now. WHY didn't she listen to me I knew it was getting worst and after 3 weeks of me telling her she says like it is no big deal OKAY mom isn't doing so well she needs to be seen all I know is that I knew about most of the changes but I did learn of some new ones so Thank you site person your information is very helpful and to all those in pain ... Please keep this in mind it is never to late to start loving the person your with and even if that person has past on remember them becase you will never know when you forget
Jan 26, 2010 1:36 PM
Guest :
I was with my dear Father when he passed in Sept. I lay next to him after everyone left and I told him it was ok to go now, that we would take care of Mom. As he took his final breaths, a beautiful sweet smell came from his mouth, like flowers. it was so peaceful. Has anyone smelled this before?
Jan 26, 2010 1:38 PM
Guest :
I was with my dear Father when he passed in Sept. I lay next to him after everyone left and I told him it was ok to go now, that we would take care of Mom. As he took his final breaths, a beautiful sweet smell came from his mouth, like flowers. it was so peaceful. Has anyone smelled this before?
Feb 2, 2010 10:02 AM
Guest :
Thank You ' My Sister is in Stage 4 of her Cancer. She doesn't have much time left. It really helps me to understand the signs of Death.
2/2/2010
Feb 11, 2010 12:15 PM
Guest :
My dad is leaving me caused by cancer. Iam his only son and iam having alot of trouble dealing with this . He keeps staring off into the distance and saying he hears birds singing!! and that theres someone outside his window but were on the fourth floor of the hospital. Hasnt ate for approx 3weeks is on TPN iv and hasnt had a BM in 22 days plus weight is around 85 - 90 lbs. His bpody wont naturally flush water it remains under his skin on his back so it looks like he has these water sack wings. Dam iam an emotional wreck. any comments or advice would be respected. Is this the final days? btw its esophigal cancer kimo / radio and surgery have been done already but the cancer is now through his whole body
Feb 16, 2010 7:41 AM
Guest :
This is an amazing article and some wonderful comments. My brother (age 56) is dying and Hospice Care has taken over. God Bless those nurses and spritual counseler. He has a brain tumor and because of inadequate care suffered a stroke a year ago. He was in a nursing home but was sent home on January 7, 2010. In any event, I believe he came home to die. It is happening quickly and thanks to the help from Hospice it is peaceful. All the comments are extremely helpful to his family as he is experiencing many of the physical changes. God Bless You All.
Feb 17, 2010 9:37 AM
Guest :
this is a big help..my dad is currently dieing of cancer and i am a highschool student, i am just reconferming what we have already heard.
Feb 19, 2010 9:44 AM
Guest :
Guest:
I visited my mother on January 14th. She was up and about, and mentioned having terrible stomach pain, only when I noticed her holding her side as she got up. She was taking Pepcid she said for a week, and I told her "you need to see your doctor'. After a visit with her doctor, he ordered CT scans and a mass was found in her abdomen. From that point everything progressed so quickly. I was getting time off work to come for her biopsy but it was delayed due to a snow storm. She lost her appetite completely, and was pushing herself to drink fluids. The oncologist said she was anemic. She could never get enough to satisfy her thirst. I live in another state, so went home for a few days to tend to my husband, children and job. I received a call from my sister that mom was looking " pretty bad". When I saw her she looked so gaunt, and was extreemly fatigued and weak. She could barely stand up, to respond to the phone and only had a few bites of food that she forced herself to eat. Her hair was oily, which was completely not her norm. I offered to help wash her up but she insisted she was okay. When she went into the bathroom she was there for awhile before she even turned the shower on. I used this opportunity to call the Oncologist, as she insisted we not do this. His on call doc said to send her to the Emergency room, but I ended up calling 911 because she was not able to lift herself from the tub. In the emergency room they found her WBC count was very high, and had admitted her for Pnuemonia. The next day she had a cardiac emergency, never having any cardiac history, subsequently she was transfered to Critical Care Unit. They found another mass on the pancreas which the Doc said could be a primary site, and the lymph nodes were enlarged. Although a diagnosis could not be made officially without a biopsy. Her lungs started to fill with fluid, and her heart was having difficulty because her blood volume went down. The next day she was moved to hospice. She stopped even sipping drops of water. She layed there motionless, with her mouth open, her feet started to turn purple and her extremities were cold and then hot.Her breathing was labored, with less breaths per minute with each passing hour. She stopped reponding verbally, and would reach her hands up in the air and stare off as if looking at something. Then came the gasping, gurgling breaths. She let out two more very shallow breaths, and then I did not feal her pulse any more. it has been very hard to process all this, as evertyhing occured at what seemed like rapid speed. My comfort is my belief that she went to be with her savior, Jesus Christ. I felt that she was reaching up to heaven when she held her arms up. Hope this helps anyone to deal with this painful experience.
Feb 19, 2010 9:44 AM
Guest :
Guest:
I visited my mother on January 14th. She was up and about, and mentioned having terrible stomach pain, only when I noticed her holding her side as she got up. She was taking Pepcid she said for a week, and I told her "you need to see your doctor'. After a visit with her doctor, he ordered CT scans and a mass was found in her abdomen. From that point everything progressed so quickly. I was getting time off work to come for her biopsy but it was delayed due to a snow storm. She lost her appetite completely, and was pushing herself to drink fluids. The oncologist said she was anemic. She could never get enough to satisfy her thirst. I live in another state, so went home for a few days to tend to my husband, children and job. I received a call from my sister that mom was looking " pretty bad". When I saw her she looked so gaunt, and was extreemly fatigued and weak. She could barely stand up, to respond to the phone and only had a few bites of food that she forced herself to eat. Her hair was oily, which was completely not her norm. I offered to help wash her up but she insisted she was okay. When she went into the bathroom she was there for awhile before she even turned the shower on. I used this opportunity to call the Oncologist, as she insisted we not do this. His on call doc said to send her to the Emergency room, but I ended up calling 911 because she was not able to lift herself from the tub. In the emergency room they found her WBC count was very high, and had admitted her for Pnuemonia. The next day she had a cardiac emergency, never having any cardiac history, subsequently she was transfered to Critical Care Unit. They found another mass on the pancreas which the Doc said could be a primary site, and the lymph nodes were enlarged. Although a diagnosis could not be made officially without a biopsy. Her lungs started to fill with fluid, and her heart was having difficulty because her blood volume went down. The next day she was moved to hospice. She stopped even sipping drops of water. She layed there motionless, with her mouth open, her feet started to turn purple and her extremities were cold and then hot.Her breathing was labored, with less breaths per minute with each passing hour. She stopped reponding verbally, and would reach her hands up in the air and stare off as if looking at something. Then came the gasping, gurgling breaths. She let out two more very shallow breaths, and then I did not feal her pulse any more. it has been very hard to process all this, as evertyhing occured at what seemed like rapid speed. My comfort is my belief that she went to be with her savior, Jesus Christ. I felt that she was reaching up to heaven when she held her arms up. Hope this helps anyone to deal with this painful experience.
Mar 1, 2010 9:08 PM
Guest :
My nanny...She was in a nursing home for the last year of her life and that was very hard for my father and me and her 3 other granddaughters and great grandson. But on Friday after she threw up black blood..and they admitted her into the emergency room...and the doctor told us this was the end. My sister and I (her grandchildren) stayed at the hospital to make sure she was given her medicine...the next morning we had to make the decision to move her to hospice. Let me just say that that was the best decision b/c from in-take until her passing they made her feel comfortable. They called us at 3:30 am on Monday...which allowed her sons (my dad, uncle and my disabled uncle which she took care of her entire life...and which I believe she hung on for the last year to make sure he was cared for) were there. From 3:30 until 6:30...she labored with her breathing and it was the worst breathing you've ever heard...at 6:30 she went to see her husband 'Buster' after 20 years and 'Pat' her twin sister after 10 years...an was welcomed at the heavenly gates. Amyone that wants to discuss please contact me. I'm still in sorrow it has only been a week
Mar 13, 2010 6:00 AM
Guest :
Thank you for this article. My father recently passed away and I was looking for answers to what he may have heard or felt during the last few moments of his life. I can recognize all these stages, it is very hard to watch someone you love dearly to pass away....it is comforting to know that hearing and touch remain intact until the very end. It gives my comfort to know that he hear us say we loved him.
Mar 16, 2010 11:12 AM
Guest :
I am glad I read this article. I recently spent time with my ex husband while he was terminally ill with cancer. I feared that on his last day he was in a coma as his eyes were opened and glassy and there did not seem to be a response. I wondered if he knew we were there for him. After reading this artical, it makes more sense and he likely was aware. Perhaps us being there helped him make the transition much easier.

Linda
Mar 16, 2010 4:28 PM
Guest :
My common law husband had a massive heart attack was in hospital 10 days before his brothers pulled the plug. He was in induced coma but his heart was the easy part it was the withdrawls from alcohol next. From my observation til about day 5 he had response to touch didn't like the green sponge that brushed his teeth so he gagged then clamped shut cause he didn't like it. day 5 i ended up with flu bug so i wasn't able to be with him. i finally got strenghth to make it to see him which turned to be my last twenty minutes I was devastated. i told him he didn't have much time left and if he needed more time to build it up and let it be know right after the ventalator that never changed in the visit had two breathes back to back three times stonger than any other. i opened his eye and saw it was same color but didn't appear sharp color it looked like it bleed or a blurred with no clarity but not cloudy. I never got to tell his brothers of the breathing change for they pulled it that quick. He looked very good but why didn't his eyes?
Nicole Venos
Mar 25, 2010 3:24 PM
Guest :
I definetily like this article. When my mom passed she went through those physical stages. Now I know. My daughter's mother-in-law is close to death, they say this week-end and is showing signs.
I like this information cause I wanted to know.
Thank you.
Apr 1, 2010 3:01 PM
Guest :
Outstanding! Just what I needed to read and understand!
Apr 2, 2010 11:36 PM
Guest :
My mother died at hospice it took two days, she went through all the final steps written in the article, I will never forget the hospice experience, she reached out to me before she died and hugged me, I said it is time to go, and she let go. All the nurses are special people in hospice and they treated my mother wonderful.
Hospice gave me a different perspective towards death, I know there is a life after death.
Apr 12, 2010 3:52 PM
Guest :
Question: Has anyone ever heard of seeing butterfly shapes on body if the body is failing? My dad had a stroke 3 months ago and the nurse called to say she saw butterfly shapes on his back and to call Hospice. Any thoughts from anyone?
Apr 12, 2010 4:05 PM
Guest :
Question: Has anyone ever heard of seeing butterfly shapes on body if the body is failing? My dad had a stroke 3 months ago and the nurse called to say she saw butterfly shapes on his back and to call Hospice. Any thoughts from anyone?
Apr 14, 2010 1:15 PM
Guest :
"the energy is short lived"
how short?

my stepfather's dad... is about 90 years old
he was rushed to the hospital 5 days ago (saturday evening)
and said he had a stroke which is causing his brain to bleed..
i went to visit him on sunday and he recognized me but.. doesnt know my name..
on monday, we got a call that anyday can be his last day..
it was a terriying sight.. it takes him alot of effort to open his eyes for 2 seconds..
and he was pale... after we left the hospital we got a call.. saying he couldnt open his eyes anymore
but after a few hours.. they said he opens his eyes all the way for a long time... looking around.. and he wants to sit up, he can talk now..
my family says miracle
but since i read the process of dying and how there's a point of sudden energy..
my mind is debating if its a miracle or the sudden energy.... PLEASE REPLY!!!!!!
im 14 yrs old by the way... so pls.. its a scary situation... he lived with us and memories just flood my mind..

Apr 16, 2010 8:28 PM
Guest :
My grandpa died of lung cancer last march and he went through all of these symptoms. His eyes were all glazed over by the time I got there and he was unresponsive and his breathing was very labored. I wish I would have known about these sypmtoms before then but now I have a better understanding.
Apr 21, 2010 10:22 AM
Guest :
my grandfather has gone through all those. he now is "sleeping" unresponsive. breathing is very shallow and far apart. he was like this a few days ago.. then suddenly woke up and was energetic and completely aware of everything! i thought he would get up and walk out of the hospital. that didnt happen.
if it werent for all this information i would have been so oblivious to what was going on. its nice to know whats happening and WHY its happening. thank you for this information
Jodi Pickens
Apr 21, 2010 1:34 PM
Guest :
My Mother-in-Law was Diagnosed with metastatic cancer in January 2010. I chose to be her care taker till the end. In the last 2 weeks she has shown all of these signs except the rattle. Twice now we have sat with her through the night thinking it was her last and both times she has rallyed back to us. We can not understand what has her holding on so strongly, we have had all members of the family go in and tell her they love her and it is ok to let go, but still she is fighting. When she is awake she is so scared and agitated it is heart breaking. Does anyone know a way that we may be able to help her.
Apr 24, 2010 10:04 AM
Guest :
This article helped me understand that I was about to lose my mum. She displayed alot of these symptoms. She left this world tonight 24.04.2010 @ 7:30pm. It was very traumatic and she wanted it to end. By reading this article I knew her wish was coming true. I whispered in her ear "Its Ok Mum you are very close to having your wish come true". Thank you for this article.
Apr 29, 2010 1:28 PM
Guest :
I lost my husband to Metastastic Colon Cancer October 24, 2008. He was 54 and battled the disease for 3 yrs/2 months. This article is VERY accurate in describing the dieing process. With my husband, the last 10 days of his life, I started to see him decline quickly. He moved around slower, felt horrible more and more each day. The comments on this article describing "bursts of energy" my husband got that 3 days before he died....he actually went out and ran errands, only to find when he returned, it was like he was hit by a train and had to lie down. Hospice care said that's called "rallying." The next 3 days, I'd go into our bedroom to check on him and he'd always be in a sitting up position on the side of the bed just staring down at the ground. I asked if he needed more liquid morphine and he wouldn't respond. Hospice care is wonderful because they give you pamphlets describing in great detail what to expect. Sometimes the loved one who is dieing will shut off communication with you and that's what happend with us. We were so close and I feel he couldn't bear to continue communicating with me because it was too painful to say goodbye. The next 3 days, he got bloated, the bottom of his feet were blotchy with blue/deep red marks, perhaps the butterfly marks one described on this site. His eyes became more glassy with the stare, followed by slow labored breathing and at one point he sat up and said "NO!" perhaps saying to God that he wasn't ready yet? One word of advice to people who are in the process of losing a loved one, talk to them, I really believe they can hear you. I told my husband it was ok to let go in his final minutes, that I would be ok, and just seconds after I said that to him, he let go.
May 17, 2010 8:29 AM
Guest :
My dad is fighting Lung Cancer. The doctors gave him 2 weeks to live. We are now on the 2nd week. He stairs at me with glassy eyes, not wanting to take any medicine or eat any food. He keep saying he's worried about us and we think that's why he's still here.We assured him that we'll be okay. His feet and hands are swollen, he knows who we are and says hello, but then go into a fog for hours..He's not making sense when he's talking, but talking about things he did in his life.
May 22, 2010 4:52 PM
Guest :
I am sitting up waiting for a phone call. Reading the comments on your article made me realise the last week, few months or years of, my life have been nothing. My mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer 3 years ago, she was not strong enough to go through the operation, weak heart. My dad is the most amazing man in this world caring 24 hours, we have been sitting each side of the bed holding my Mums hand, stroking her hair and forehead as her lungs have filled up. Thank you so much for the info from everyone who has mentioned about the colour of the eyes, my Mum stared yesterday while Dad was'nt there and I told him, either I am going mad or Mums eyes have changed colour, Bright blue. I at present manager a large unit of Adults with Aultism, and felt that at times that my job wrenched the heart strings. Speaking and spending time with people going through the final stages of death made me feel that my job is a piece of cake compared to what the staff in cacer wards go through.. I am thinking of all of you tonight who are sitting with anyone who is ill or has a few hours or days, you are amazing people. I have taken Dad Home for a few hours sleep (he is 86 years, dad and mum have been married for 62 years) . Goodnight and bless you, love from the person sitting by the phone x x
May 27, 2010 1:29 AM
Guest :
I'm trying to figure out how much time my grandmother has left. Her breathing is down to 8 breaths per minute, she hasnt had any food in 3 days, and the only water she is receiving is from a lollipop sized swap that brushes across her lips. How many days (at best) does she have left?


Jun 1, 2010 9:13 AM
Guest :
Thank you for this article. My father is dying from Alzheimer's and it will just be a few more days.... I understand better those things that I have been seeing him go thru..... It is so sad to see him suffer.....it will be good when his peace comes
Jun 2, 2010 11:11 PM
Guest :
I found this information to be helpful as my father recently passed away from cancer, and he had most of the signs mentioned before he passed. I wish to share a wonderful experience I had when my father was in his last days of life, which may help some readers cope. A very beautiful thing happened to me the day before my father passed away, he was showing every sign of being extremely close to death, he took a bad turn the day before he died and my family were all close by and I received a text message saying "come now, it is happening now". At the time I was only about 200 metres from the Hospital, at a horse paddock behind the hospital... when I received the text message... then all of a sudden I turned to run towards the Hospital, but it was like I couldn't escape or get out of the paddock, I was running but not moving, when I suddenly fell to the ground and this terrible anguish like my heart was being ripped out of my body came upon me, then all of a sudden this beautiful white "halo" is the only way I can describe it, the "halo" engulfed me with this most intense euphoric feeling that no words can describe, and I found myself talking to my father through the "halo", I am telling him it's beautiful and warm and talking him "through the halo" and the whole time I am feeling the earth underneath me, I am saying over and over "see Daddy it's beautiful", this lasted maybe about 5 minutes, then all of a sudden I knew what I had to do and the whole time I am talking away to my father, he wanted me to give messages to my Brother (who had a long standing feud with my sister, lasting almost 20 years) the message was to sort it out and I kept repeating 3 words, "understanding, respect and tolerance" and said that if we remember these 3 words forever we will all get along better in life, and then another message was for my stepmother the message being "I love you with all my heart and soul", then a message for my nephew who wants to join the army (my father was a vietnam veteran) I can't remember the exact words now, but it was about his attitude and how to change it for acceptance into the army. The whole time I was in this beautiful "floating" like state, then I was telling my father that his body is riddled with cancer and it is okay to go now. Then I kind of snapped out it and was back in the real world, then I was told my father was awake and wanting to get up and walk towards the horse paddock, which is where I was first at when the "halo" appeared. As I really believed Dad had passed because of the experience I just had and then being told he is awake again, I thought I had lost my mind so I went to have some sleep and rest for a while. Later that night I spoke with a nurse about how our family have been arguing etc and told her about my experience earlier and how I thought I was losing my mind, she said I had experienced a telepathy with my father and that the white "halo" is what he will experience when he finally passes, she also said she was a medium and my experience was real. My father confirmed this less than an hour later when he again (defying medical logic, as he was supposed to have had no blood flow at all to the brain) woke up and told us "exactly what I had told my brother and step mother earlier" he then looked up at me and said "It's beautiful isn't it", I couldn't believe it, the Nurse I had spoken with earlier was also present to witness this and said "well there is your confirmation". The next day I went and spoke with all my family to ensure our father's wish was granted, that is to have my sister and brother loving each other again and getting along, later that day we saw the most beautiful sight of my brother and sister cuddling in the Hospital room and genuinely laughing with each other, I whispered to my father "see Daddy I heard you, I remember what you said and wanted and they are together for you, you did it and it is all good now", Dad passed away less than 10 hours later, just as he told me he wanted everyone asleep so he could go to sleep. I needed to share this with anyone who is experiencing the death of a loved one, because there are comments made that if you are not a Christian or have a religious belief then you go to hell, that is not true and I have proof of this. My father always claimed to be an athiest. After experiencing the most beautiful thing I could ever imagine, I want to reassure people that there is life after death and it does not discriminate because that world welcomes any person who simply has loved, it is about the love you give and receive, that is the information I received from my experience. Knowing it was real and not some hallucination makes me feel so good that when we say they are at peace, our loved ones truly are at peace, it is a wonderful world up there full of love and you even take your personality with you, it is remarkable.
Jun 4, 2010 10:22 PM
Guest :
It is 12:12 am and I am sitting here with my father who is in end stages of bone cancer. Seeing him suffer is so hard, but reading this has given me hope that soon he will be in a better place without all the pain. I am so glad I found this article tonight, now I know what to say to him so he knows it is ok to let go. I was so afraid to talk because I did not want him to see me cry. I will let him know I am here to take care of my mother, and we will be ok. I love you dad..
Jun 11, 2010 8:07 AM
Guest :
Mother was 85, sitting at the table, said "I don't feel right." It was a massive stroke (we found out later). May 22 & 23 - she was trying to get up out of the hospital bed, pulling at her hospital gown, taking it off, taking the sheets off, agitated, pulling oxygen out, trying to get IV out, her blood pressure was all over the place (but always high) she talked gibberish, didn't know what she was doing. May 24 she was still agitated, moving her feet & hands constantly. Her mouth was open all the time. She was agitated by noises & people touching her, pushed my hands away, still trying to get out of bed. Her cheeks turned red that evening. She had not been able to eat or drink anything since her stroke. May 25, she continued to be restless. Her right eyelid was closed, but her left eyelid was half open. I opened both her eyelids so I could check her eyes. Her eyes were fixed, not moving. She had several BM's because the muscles in the body were weakening. I kissed her forehead. It was clammy, sweaty. She continued trying to pull & pick at clothes, sheets, tubing, but she stopped doing this eventually. I held her hand & sang to her. Her breathing became heavier & heavier through her open mouth even though the nurse increased her oxygen. By afternoon, she lay quietly on the bed. Both her arms went straight into the air and I felt that she was reaching for Jesus. Her breathing was still labored & deep, but starting to be slower. She quit breathing & peacefully passed from this world to heaven at 3:35 am on May 26.
Jun 12, 2010 4:17 PM
Guest :
Thank you this article was very helpful, my grandma showed all the signs for this and im glad i read this.
Jun 14, 2010 5:21 PM
Guest :
my dad just died April 30th 2010 he had all these symptoms.. he woke up on the 29th having a hard time breathing. his body was swollen.. I called a ambulance for him they took him to the ER. his body and breathing was getting worse. he needed blood. the ER doctor came in and asked my dad if he gets any worse does he want to be put on life support.. my dad said Doc just do what you have to do , just help me breath. the DR and nurses work round the clock helping my dad.. the DR came in and ask me to sign a form to put the life support machine on my dad.. he said his organs was shutting down.. they was having him flew out to another hospital. from 4:30pm till 9:30 pm he was at our hospital in Ky then had him flew out to WV hospital at 10pm he never once got to leave either hospital Emergency. he stayed at Cabell Huntington hospital till the next morning. I got a phone call and around 4:30am i got a ride to the hospital took me 2 hrs to get there. the DR took me in a room and talk to me about my dad.. they said hes in crital condition and right now hes the worst patient we have in the whole hospital right now. they had him hooked up to 20-25 bags of IV fluids, gave him 12 pints of blood so far. he was on life support machine and so much more.. i was totally shocked when i walked in and seen him like that.. the DR in there told me your dads body is all swollen from all the fluids he has been given. I looked at his face and he had blood running from his nose and mouth. they told me the more blood they give him the more its going to come form other parts of his body. he said they are keeping his body living from all the medicine they was giving him. i asked if he would ever come out of his condition he said sweety let me tell u something. your father is in critical condition.. i have been doing this job for 23 yrs and im here to tell you your father will never be the same. never walk, talk or do anything ever again. he would just be laying there not able to move or anything.. i asked them how long the medicine would last they was giving him. they said from 30 mins to 10hrs. they had him taken so much medcine in IV bags it was un real.. from blood pressure medicine, steriods, heart medicine, they even had this blown up bag thing on him to keep his tempature up.. he was in very bad shape....they said we can keep him alive with all the medicine and life support machine long as you want. but to be honest your father is already gone..he said let me show you something.. i said ok.. he lifted up my dads eyes they was all shiny and was ready to have blood running from them to.. after i seen that i grabbed my dads hand and held on for dear life.. i hugged and kissed him so much kept telling him over and over i loved him. i knew then i had to tell the Drs to let him go and turn the life support machine off.. that was the hardest choice i ever had to make in my life. seeing his body swelling and turning colors, his eyes glassy and his breathing and gargleing of all the blood in his mouth was more then i could handle.. i told the Drs to turn the machine off.. I stood there right by his side and held his hand and loved on him till he took his very last breath. he died april 30th 2010 at 9:24am he had every symptom you have mentioned here happen to him.. that is something i never want to see or ever go though again.. i found out his organs shut down, he had a major heart attack and his body wasnt getting rid of any waste... It was so horrible to see.. i just hope no one ever has to see a love one like i did my dad.. Its something i will never forget as long as i live..
Jun 17, 2010 2:53 AM
Guest :
my grandpaw is knocking on heavens door and this helps me know what to kinda exspect it can be any min he already had the burst of energy
Jun 17, 2010 10:43 PM
Guest :
Wow i read so much here after i had to Learn it on my own ,My 17 year old daughter recently passed away from Cystic Fibrosis and i thought for shure i could fight it and Win, But i couldent it Won the Battle and Took her any way, Now i Grieve so Hard because we were in one of the best Hospitals Duke University and if they only would of Help me Understand what was happning i could of Sufferd less , even when i asked the Doctors would Stray and Palliative Care would not even Help me like they all did not want me to know, So i knew by my own Heart and my own GUT instinct , By the signs Britty would say make your shoes click mom i like the sound , i can always hear you comng down the hall to see me,so i would stand by her bed side and Click my shoes to Comfort her and another sign she said where are all your Ring i can't feel them i want to feel them and i only whore one Ring, and then she said I feel Dull mom i can't feel my side its Numb, so my Gosh they should offer this Site in Hospitals all over to Help People , Its the NOT KNOWING that is the worst , I feel like my Life is over to Now the Pain is to Hard to Bare with out my Brittany Girl .I wish i would of known , but now i just found out , Thanks , M H
Jun 24, 2010 4:28 PM
kalajach :
I found this site just over a week ago and read all the comments, and was so glad I did. The only problem was when the time came near of my fathers passing I was so bewildered that I forgot all the signs to watch out for. On thursday eve 17/6/10 I went to visit my father who was in hospital receiving palative care. He was diagnosed in December 09 with Lung cancer and suspected bowl cancer, we were told he has 6-8 months of life left. This was such a shock to me and our entire family. My father was in no pain what so ever, the only pain killer he had was a paracetamol every now and again for a headache.He was coherant and had all his marbles in tact throughout the last 6 months of his life. Getting back to thursday evening when I visited him, he was sitting up his chair and we were talking about how England was going to do in friday nights match. He said he was'nt in any pain just that his legs felt like led. The nurse took him to the loo while I waited then brought him back and put him into bed. As I was talking to him I noticed that his glasses had a blue tint. I thought to my self I did'nt know he had tinted glasses, i'v not noticed that before (his glasses has plain lenses) Again I did'nt put 2 and 2 together, (the heavy legs and blue shiny eyes) I left the hospital leaving him happy and watching tv. Unfortunatly due to different circumstances for the very first time ever he did'nt get any visiters on friday. But my daughter who lives in another country, and has'nt spoken or seen him in over a year, got a notion come into her head that she had to talk to him there and then. This was about 4.00pm. So she found his mobile number and phoned him and had a graet chat with him. She says she does'nt why it came into her head it just did. At 2.45am my sister got a phone call to say that he has passed away very peacefully in his sleep at 2.15am. The nurses said they were trully shocked and did not expect it at all. The one thing that we are all gratefull for is that he died in his sleep and without any pain. I hope this helps and encourages everyone to be positive. It's not always bad in the end.x
Jul 6, 2010 9:34 PM
Guest :
I lost my sister a year ago at 48 years of age, she came home to me, to care for her when she knew it was close. I cannot express enough, the angels on earth of hospice...please call them to help!! It won't bring death any faster but it will help the caregiver beyond belief. When she died, she opened her eyes wide and left us. My husband closed her eyes and we called the hospice nurse. She called the funeral home for us. It was a privilege to help my sister in her passing. God gives you the strength you need.
Jul 7, 2010 2:11 PM
Guest :
I sat with my mother when she died and she experienced lots of agitation and her eyes were wide open and staring, sometimes with tears in them. Her skin changed colour and dark patches appeared on her arms and legs as her system closed down. I had no idea what all this meant and found it very disturbing and I wish someone at the hospital had explained it to me beforehand as it has taken me a long time to get this picture of her last few hours out of my head. Its great to have a page like this to explain to others what signs to look for.
Jul 8, 2010 1:58 PM
Guest :
a very thoughtful way of describing death Thankyou
Jul 14, 2010 7:52 PM
Guest :
My grandmother has colon, kidney, lung and now brain cancer. It has been a roller coaster. I live in another city so I have been reading about signs of death. I have a permanent lump in my throat. I told her it was okay to let go, but I felt like I was telling her I had given up. I will forever be changed by this experience :( Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.
Jul 19, 2010 1:22 PM
Guest :
My nephew just lost his battle with Disseminated Medulloblastoma at the age of 6. I was there for his last days. His breathing did not slow, I mean, it did increasingly for the last day or so, and then this past monday night around 8, it began to slowly quicken, with almost a moan on each exhale. It quickened to almost a heavy panting. Then he stopped for a few seconds, then he gasped for air and clenched his hand around my finger, which was the first movement all day, and his breathing returned to a near normal pace, and the sounds continued. Tears started to come from his eyes, Im not sure if eye watering is expected, or if he was crying. Soon after his breathing slowed again and the sounds stopped. At 9:01 that night, he exhaled what sounded almost what sounded like a sigh of relief, and that was it. Since his breathing was fast, does that mean something significant? and did the tears mean he was in pain? And the stoping & then gasping, is that normal? Sorry for all the questions :)
Jul 29, 2010 7:33 AM
Guest :
My mom has lung cancer, and I know after reading this that she is in the end stage. Yesterday she was not responsive and shallow breathing. But this morning shes awake and talking. I think this is the sudden burst of energy that this page says. Its very hard for me to go though this. But Im trying to be strong for my mom. Shes a fighter. So we really dont know when she will pass, we just know that its soon.
Aug 15, 2010 6:47 PM
Guest :
I have just read your article and found it extremely valuable. My husband died on 3 May 2010 with lung cancer and I am haunted by the struggle he went through in the last 24 hours of his life. He was in hospital and no one would give me any answers when I questioned why his eyes had turned glassy and opaque, or why he was so agitated, or why his legs were so swollen. This article has answered those questions and I am making a complaint to the hospital as to why my questions were not answered and why he had to suffer so much when he was under the care of the pallative care team. I can only say, thank you and may it help others.
Aug 16, 2010 4:36 PM
Guest :
im 16 years old and in just lost my grandma to canscer it helps me alot on wat i was doing to help that i know was ,makeing her fell thew best way i can befor it was her time to go.i like this article alot it tells you as myslef alot about i.
Aug 21, 2010 6:54 PM
Guest :
My mother recently passed away from stage 4 lung cancer and I took care of her for the past four months until she took her final breath on Easter morning 2010. I had so much information from Hospice, however, this article would have helped me to identify the stages better. My mother was waving her arm in the air hours before passing away, as though she was greeting loved ones. Her eyes were the way the article described them as well, I could see that she had already stepped beyond our world, although her physical presence was still struggling to let go.
Sep 5, 2010 10:23 AM
Guest :
Useful in preparing to witness a loved one's death.
Sep 26, 2010 12:40 PM
Guest :
I am dealing with the approaching death of my dad. I have sat by his bedside for the past two days and nights. I am physically exhausted and had to come home. Two nights ago he started running a fever and his has remained (even with Tylenol supp.) at about 100 degrees. He is seemingly unaware of his surroundings or who we are. His systolic dropped 40 points last night. He developed a "death rattle" and it was really bad for a while but somewhat cleared up. He woke up once last night and told me goodbye. He has not eaten anything for several days and has only had small amounts of milkshake each day. He has had very small amounts of urine output as well as stools. Today however, he seems a little more alert and his b/p is back up? Is this normal within they dying process for him to seem to improve a little? I think he has had a stroke. Thank you. I don't know what to do. I physically cant stay there 24-7. I live in another state.
Oct 19, 2010 3:00 AM
Guest :
If you think about it the eyes turning blue before death isnt that strange. Your eyes are blue when you are born. My dad is dying right now.
Oct 26, 2010 5:02 PM
Guest :
This is a good reading and understanding to me. See I just lost my daughter last year, and I seem not to get pass that she is gone from me, and it hurts know matter what i do to keep my mine off her, I just couldn't put it togather knowing she was my only daughter, she had stomach cancer and I gave up everything too be with her the three month that she was on this earth. she was 34 years old. And I know that there is someone else out here feel like I do.
Oct 28, 2010 7:57 PM
Guest :
I don't know what led me to google "stages of death" to tonight, but my dad passed away 11 days ago (October 17, 2010) and I think I just wanted to know if the changes we saw in him were "normal."

He had a very rare blood cancer (the closest thing they could find was Acute Myeloid Leukemia but it wasn't quite that) so we knew he was in the end stage basically from the time of his diagnosis (17 weeks earlier), and the timeline of his last few days went like this:

Thursday morning: talking but seemingly confused about who was with him.
Thursday night: very confused, not really talking but said his last few words.
Friday morning/afternoon: Eyes glassy and not moving/blinking, making noises (mostly just "ohh" and "ahh" noises), shaking/agitated. We thought he was worried so we kept touching him and telling him we were there and that it was okay. He was taking long and deep breaths.
Friday evening: He stopped making noises, but shaking and agitation continued.
Saturday: Agitation/shaking continued throughout the day but stopped around dinner time. Breathing became shallower.
Very early Sunday morning: Breathing was very shallow, but his pulse was still strong. Sometimes there were pauses in his pulse, and then a little later in his breathing.
He passed away at 7:02 Sunday morning.

I wish that every person watching a loved one slip away could read articles like this one. On the Saturday morning, a palliative care doctor came in to talk to us and explained what would happen. He didn't tell us everything, like the glassy eyes, but he did tell us that hearing is one of the last faculties that we lose so we should assume my dad could hear our voices even if he couldn't actually make out our words. And one of the most comforting things he explained was how there can be long pauses in someone's breathing, even up to 20 or 30 seconds between breaths, because on the Friday afternoon when we took up our vigil at the hospital, any time there was even a MILLISECOND pause in my dad's breathing, I panicked. I knew he was dying, but I still panicked thinking "oh my god, this is it." It was so comforting and reassuring to know that each moment he had a pause in his breathing didn't mean he was gone.

My mom and I were with him from Friday noon until after he passed on the Sunday morning, with other family members coming and going from the hospital. It was the hardest, and yet most special thing I've ever experienced.
Nov 8, 2010 10:31 AM
Guest :
Hi Debbie, I have been searching for some answers to my Dad's state today. he was taken into hospice this morning, he has changed so much since Friday, he struggles to keep his eyes open, they look glazed, he is hardly eating and his urine is dark brown. He has pancreatic cancer stage 4. He speaks with difficulty and drifts in and out of consciousness, but responds when I hold his hand or talk to him about the kids. Thank you for helping me to understand what is a very painful process x
Nov 22, 2010 8:52 PM
Guest :
In my experience as caregiver for the elderly this article is pretty much on target.
Men usually just keep slipping down for a day or so, becoming more drowsy and
unresponsive. Women, however, even very old ones, usually experience a burst
of energy several hours before the end, making the family think they are getting
better. But it is short-lived and they go down quickly after; sometimes a matter
of a few moments.
Nov 22, 2010 8:58 PM
Guest :
To "Guest Aug 26, 08".
It is a high honor to be the one to "close the eyes" of a friend or loved one at the
moment of death. I have done this for several of my patients over the years.
You must gently put your hand on the forehead just after the heart stops, then
slowly pull down on the skin of the eyelids and hold for a moment. The eyes
almost always stay closed this way. If you wait even 10 or 15 minutes after
death rigor has already started and its impossible to keep them closed. The
undertaker uses special glue to keep them shut for the viewing.
Nov 22, 2010 9:48 PM
Guest :
To "Guest Aug 26, 08".
It is a high honor to be the one to "close the eyes" of a friend or loved one at the
moment of death. I have done this for several of my patients over the years.
You must gently put your hand on the forehead just after the heart stops, then
slowly pull down on the skin of the eyelids and hold for a moment. The eyes
almost always stay closed this way. If you wait even 10 or 15 minutes after
death rigor has already started and its impossible to keep them closed. The
undertaker uses special glue to keep them shut for the viewing.
Jan 7, 2011 1:07 PM
Guest :
I currently lost my mother 3 days ago to 7 different types of cancer. All of the symptoms on here match what she went through. Except one thing. It wasn't her eye color that changed, I watched the white parts of her eye turn solid black...the entire eye. Her eyes rolled back into her head, if we would talk to her they would come back. Finally with her eyes rolled back I slowly watched the white turn black. Starting in the bottom corner of both her eyes as a black dot it spears across then upward until the entire white was black. Looked like something out of a sci fi movie. 8 hours later she passed.
Jan 13, 2011 8:30 PM
Guest :
my pappaw is going through a lot of this right now:( he has cancer and a lot more wrong with him too and is in the nursing home so it sucks but he's still fighting
Jan 14, 2011 8:02 PM
Guest :
Thank you. The information is very helpful. I just realized that my dad has been trying to die and we should quit calling the ambulance to bring him back.
Jan 20, 2011 11:48 AM
Guest :
I am here now in Jamaica as my father has terminal cancer, i can relate to your article as he is ow in the final stages of death. This is the hardest part of my life as i am caring fro my dying father and this is very hard to do.
I keep stroking and talking to him as i know he can hear me and feel at ease.
I am not sure how long he has left, but i hope he can hold out until my brother and sister get here to say their goodbye.
I am truly blessed to have known a great and wonderful person.
God please watch over him and bless him.
Love you DADDY XX
Jan 22, 2011 1:06 AM
Guest :
I am awake, it's 3am and my Father is dying from COPD. His lungs having been filling up for three days and while his nurse came and said the things I am reading it is still very difficult to be with him during the aggitation and panic modes. We keep him medicated but even that is not working and I pray out loud for this part to be over. This to me is the most horrific thing I have ever witnessed. We thought he was taking his last breath when he suddenly, after two days of nothing became irate and has not settled down in the last 6hrs. I pray it comes soon for him and quite honestly for us. Seeing him die is hard enough but this tears me apart.
Jan 30, 2011 4:11 AM
Guest :
my mother in law past away tonight and before she did her hands turned blue, her feet had blue spots and she made the ratteling sound.She had gallblader cancer
Feb 10, 2011 10:22 AM
Guest :
My mother has stage 4 breast caner now. She first got breast cancer back in late 70's and her breast taken off. Today she looks like she has beem thrugh WW 1, 2 to and 3 fighing this all the way. Her poor little body looks like a war zone. She has many operations and they have taken out all they can from her stomach area through the years. The lastest is, it moved through the years down into the bowels, and now she has to wear a bag. The doctor said that she will have to wear it the rest of her life. He also said, that stage 4 means it is in her blood stream, that not only it could come back, it can come back anywhere in her body. She took chemo and it did shirk it, but that is all they can do for her now is to try to shirk it to keep her frm throwing up or be in pain. She does next month to get her blood work done and see if it is back. If it is back, another around of chemo, which he said may not work as well as the first time aound. If it doesn't, then les than a year to live. It has been really hard one me, because I am the sole one taking care of her and she does have other family members. She is very head strong and a fighter all the way. She fights not to go into any rehab or have anyone come to her house to take care of her. If she gets worse (which it looks like she will), I don't know what else I can do. I am not a nurse.Nor can I give her high power pain meds. and more so, I DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE BAGS OFF OF MY M0THER AND SHE DIES ON ME. Yes, she doesn't want anyone in her house to help her, doesn't really want to change her own bag, and I have done all I can for her for over a year now. I am so tired, stress and ran to death, and to tell ya the truth, the smell from her has gotten worse. Anyone had a love one that was this hard to deal with? If so, what did you do? Thanks!!
Feb 17, 2011 3:19 PM
Guest :
Well i can relate to some of the comments that i have read today . The one that touched home was the last post on here the one for feb . I am taking care of my grandmother which just currently got put on hospice . she is 74 years old and she is in the final stages of dementia . We just found out in november that she had it . she has declined very fast . She started having seizures in jan . which is very weird and no one knows why . we have had h
er at the hospital several times in the last couple of months due to decreased mental status and being unresponsive . but everytime we take her to the hospital they try something else .l well this last time we went once we got her home she told me and my mother that she did not care how bad she was she does not want to go back to the hospital . and that she is ready to go be with her two kids and mother that are alrready in a better place . she has been through these stages several times i think but everytime we stop it and she comes back to us. but now she dont want that so we called in hospice and now we are just letting nature take its course . which is very hard to sit back and watch her go through it . buti know that i am here to keep her comfortable and happy and spend all the time i can with her . i noticed that today she is very short of breath so i put o2 on her for comfy measures and been giving her meds to relax her . i hope i am doing the right thing and i hope that this goes like she wants it to . since she has already went through these stages how long would it be before this happens and she passes . ? i mean she has started the sleeping all the time and the decrease in food and fluid and no energy and does not want anyone around and her eyes are glossy all the time .
Feb 19, 2011 11:49 PM
Guest :
This article is accurate but left off a few final things loved ones can check to see when the body is shutting down. My mother is currently pasing away at 86 years of age, tonight will be her last on this earth. On this last day of our mother's life we were told not to stimulate her with massage, music, or a lot of touch because that can prolong things. As we sat with her this evening we began to hear the labored breathing along with low throaty gurgling. What we did to confirm the stage she was in was to check her feet. As the evening wore on her feet turned deep blue then black that starts going upward as her body shuts down. We also checked her eyes which were no longer staring rather rolled into the back behind her upper lids. This is when we knew that only a few short hours remain. My sister and I kissed our Mom goodbye and decided to leave because we felt she had passed already.
Mar 10, 2011 12:05 AM
Guest :
Thank you all for sharing your experiences. My father is currently in the final stages after being diagnosed with liver cancer about 6 months ago.
His stomach is bloated and there is swelling all over his legs, and he is reduced to nothing but skin and bones.
His eyes are always closed and most of the times he is only sleeping not responding to anything, and it has been like this for about a week now. Signs of jaundice are also there.
Since yesterday he has started to reach out with his hands as if he is calling some one. If any one tries to hold his hand, he does not respond. I believe his end is very near. It's been comforting to read about other experiences at least knowing this is what we should expect.
I reside in a far away city from him and will be going to him tomorrow. Hope he will have a peaceful exit.
Wish the best to all of you and your loved ones.
Mar 14, 2011 4:28 AM
Guest :
I am so thankful for the people that posted the eye color change. My father passed away Feb. 26 2011. My father had brown eyes, but the last time I looked into his eyes they were blue. When I told people this I don't think they believed me, but I know myself that they were blue. I search everywhere on the internet and nothing has been written about such subject. Thank God I am not the only one the has expreinced this and I know now I am not crazy. He looked so peaceful and with a smile, so I have to believe that he felt a calmness. He died a few days after I saw him, but the last time I saw him, and I will never forget that he had blue eyes.
Mar 27, 2011 9:28 PM
Guest :
Hello, My dad is 54... He has lung and bone cancer. We have been told that the end is now 3-4 days away. He is showing some of these signs- sleeping, not eating/drinking, shivering and breathing heavy. He has only 1 working lung. Its good to read the above list of signs as now I can prepare myself for what to look for in the comming days. Thank you. JK
Mar 30, 2011 10:08 AM
Guest :
My father died in April from dementia? The nursing home called a told my sister he's dying. That was on a Monday we stayed the night. The nurses kept coming in to check his feet, he had already started breathing like he was having a asthma attack. At the time I didn't know they called that "death rattle". But as long as I live I don't want to see or watch someone die. He waited till we all left to go home and rest, to die.Do you think when they are going through the death stages they don't want to die with someone in the room?
Apr 2, 2011 9:28 AM
Guest :
My name is imran.. ive never experienced a death in the family. i know i will have to one day or another. these comments are so sad and touching. all we can now do is pray that the loved ones afterlife is better than the worldly life. may god be with all of us and grant us a happy pain free death. ameen
Apr 5, 2011 7:28 PM
Guest :
I just lost my dear mother on march 4th. All that you said was how it was for her. Her eyes remained open all the time but she could hear us talking to her and was able to say a few words from time to time. Right before the end she told my daughter I love you and called out my grandaughters name. Touching is very important which we did a lot of and I would set and read the bible to her she enjoyed that. Thank you for letting me be able to share about my mother. I miss her so very much we were very close.
Apr 12, 2011 6:45 AM
Guest :
| new she was gone although her chest was moving when I walked in the hospital room I think she was brain dead but as I looked at her face she made a horrendace look of fear which was so dreadful this tortures me it was as if she saw something terrible. has anyone else seen this. this plays games with my mind did she see the devil is the one thing that tortures me the most.
Apr 20, 2011 11:52 AM
Guest :
I have a friend who is dying from stage 4 cancer. The gal has tumors all over and you say why does this happen to such a wonderful person. She is about on the last journey of her life and soon to die. I know she is ready to meet the maker and to see her loved ones that have passed on. You live life like is was your last because life is too short. Remmember take care of yourself and always remmember to tell your loved one you love them.
Apr 25, 2011 2:01 AM
Guest :
I would recommend this article to everyone because I am going thru this process and I am typing this. My mom is going or has already gone thru most of the process and is currently in the stagger breath process. Speaking about this article this person was right so far and my mom has gone thru each one of these steps to the end. She is about a couple hours from death now and I have been by her side since the begining 5 yrs ago when she was exposed to a Chemical called "FORMALDEHYDE POISON" while riding in a brand new handicapped custom van built during "Katrina in Miss". She had severe GI Bleeding thru these yrs and it was hard to see her literally dying after being a vibrant woman. But as I sit in her hospital ICU room in Florida I found this website this morning and started to read the process and how it ends and she has gone most of the final steps and is in the last breathe stages now. This article was and is very helpful to my family to understand more what we are going thru. She went thru the grieving process, eyes and staring *which is very scary, cold feet and hands, dry lips(us vasoline not toxic), talking to her and holding her hands made it comforting to her and me to. I wish I had read this several days ago before the process really started because I would have hould been able to deal with the whole thing better. More people should read your article becuase it is really helping my family thru this whole ordeal of dying. I been thru the dying process three times now but never this close before where I sat beside the whole time. Thank you for this great help.....It was alot eaiser to deal with now that I understand more of the process.
Joanna
Apr 25, 2011 2:02 AM
Guest :
I would recommend this article to everyone because I am going thru this process and I am typing this. My mom is going or has already gone thru most of the process and is currently in the stagger breath process. Speaking about this article this person was right so far and my mom has gone thru each one of these steps to the end. She is about a couple hours from death now and I have been by her side since the begining 5 yrs ago when she was exposed to a Chemical called "FORMALDEHYDE POISON" while riding in a brand new handicapped custom van built during "Katrina in Miss". She had severe GI Bleeding thru these yrs and it was hard to see her literally dying after being a vibrant woman. But as I sit in her hospital ICU room in Florida I found this website this morning and started to read the process and how it ends and she has gone most of the final steps and is in the last breathe stages now. This article was and is very helpful to my family to understand more what we are going thru. She went thru the grieving process, eyes and staring *which is very scary, cold feet and hands, dry lips(us vasoline not toxic), talking to her and holding her hands made it comforting to her and me to. I wish I had read this several days ago before the process really started because I would have hould been able to deal with the whole thing better. More people should read your article becuase it is really helping my family thru this whole ordeal of dying. I been thru the dying process three times now but never this close before where I sat beside the whole time. Thank you for this great help.....It was alot eaiser to deal with now that I understand more of the process.
Joanna
Apr 25, 2011 1:12 PM
Guest :
very comforting.
Apr 27, 2011 6:27 AM
nancy rogers :
my mom did all the above ,for some reason the people could not tell me what was going on i thought at one time during the test she may come home to me again.i will never know why they made me fell that way.i will miss her forever.i want her back so bad.no one knows how hard it is till it really hapens to you.i love you mom.
Apr 27, 2011 8:35 AM
Guest :
i had experienced all of these signs with my mother, she just passed away april 16th. I have to ask, i sat by my mother's side and she laid there barely breathing with her mouth open. as i sat there watching her body slowly shut down, her mouth also turned black inside. it just slowly creeped from one side to the entire covering up to her teeth. why did this happen? if anyone checks this and knows the answer can you please tell me. it's plagues me. she was only 53 and my best friend...
May 9, 2011 5:00 AM
Guest :
Sadly I lost my dear Dad 2 weeks ago (April 20th 2011), he was diagnosed only this January with lung cancer, which rapidly spread to the lymph nodes, bones, liver, the whole process from diagnosis to death was 14 weeks, I was with my Dad at the end along with my Mum and Sister, everything you describe above is absolutely true and I really didn't know what to expect, I wasn't frightened just comforting to see him peaceful at the end instead of in so much pain, his last moments will live with me forever, I miss him deeply and now have to adjust to life without him.
May 14, 2011 10:28 AM
Guest :
My best friend, sis in law is in the final stages of death, she has lung,liver and breast cancer and is on Hospice. She was diagnosed with lung cancer on 8-07-2010 and since then has had a really bad downfall and the cancer has spread pretty much all over her organs and her breast on both sides, she is 34 years old with her four loving kids. I looked up this article to better help me understand what to expect on her last day's, she is pretty much going all the signs and is in much pain these days, she is also receiving oral morphine 0.6 every two hours. I feel pretty much strong being around her and comforting her but I feel it's going to be really hard to let go of her when she is ready to go. Thanks for all the posts about everyone's own personal experiences it has helped me to better understand and cope with all this she is going through.

Rosa R.
May 17, 2011 6:07 PM
Guest :
I am currently caring for my mom, she is dying with cancer. The doctor have her 4 weeks to live about 4 weeks ago. She has a lot of the signs, she is sleeping more, barely eating, only applesauce, and she is just barely hanging on. It is the hardest thing to watch my mom, who is a strong christian woman, waste away to nothing. I hate to see her in pain and I pray for peace for her. The hospice nurses have been wonderful with her. She is only 63 years old. She is close to the end... anytime now they say. Please pray for our family as we continue to care for her and let her know how much she is loved.
May 22, 2011 7:10 PM
Guest :
My Dear brother passed away from cancer , brain & rectal , & lung
his wife witnessed a beam of soft light above his head at the moment before he died & something like a rising mist or fog as well.. has anyone even heard of this happening? she said it was quite comforting. does this mean spirit was leaving his body?my mom was with him moment s before , then his wife went to his bedside & witnessed this as he passed.we hope he transitioned peacefully to heaven.{ We love you & miss you, Our Dear Jim.}
May 30, 2011 12:32 PM
Guest :
succinct and to the point, thanks
May 31, 2011 7:42 PM
Guest :
Persons that think that their dying loved ones showed signs of going to heaven but claim that their loved ones were atheist also need to take into consideration that Jesus Christ revealed himself to them at their last moments and they accepted him into their heart. If you repent of your sins in the last moment and accept Jesus in your heart, he says you will be with him in paradise. People that have not accepted Jesus in their heart do not go to heaven. Please don't be deceived that atheists go to heaven - your eternal destination depends on it.
Jun 1, 2011 8:22 PM
Guest :
hearing and touch good cause lead him to the lord JESUS in prayer of salvation
Jun 8, 2011 10:25 AM
Guest :
brilliant.thank you.lots of useful information at a very distressing time.
Jun 25, 2011 2:51 AM
Guest :
I'm 20, its my 21 in 2 weeks. My dad passed 6 years ago when i was 14 of eusophacus cancer. It was a hard to watch mum go throughthis and dad being so scares. I was a daddies girl. We got a phone call on the 15 April that dad had passed in his sleep.
Last year in july mum was diagnosed with gallstones. She had scans and it turned out she had a cancerous tumour in her pancreas. At this time she weighed 24 stone ( she had lost a lot of weight as she started off as 30) so she went on a healthy eatibg scheme so she could be healthy enough for the whipples operation. She's had the procedure. She was told it had all gone away but she would need chemo anyway just to fight any remaining cells. Before she started the chemo we had found out the cancer had returned in the same spot but aroubd a blood vessel and there was nothing that they could do, so they gave her a year survival (this was January 2011) . Then the cancer spread to her liver. They gave her a few months in April. 3 weeks ago she went to the hospice just to rebuold her strength. As soon as she got there she went downhill. It turned.out she had an obstructed colon and hadn't had a bowel movement for 2 weeks. Last friday she was in a bad way, she was very confused and kept forgetting what she was saying. Her speech was very slurred and I found it difficult to understand what sgw was saying to me. I spoke to the doctorshe said she only had days and was verging onto hours. But thenshe passed a bowel movenent. Saturday she was her oldself laughing and being a chatterbox so she adked to go home and they coyldnt stop her. Today, a week later , she seems to be going downhill again. She keeps falling asleep whilt talkibg and her breathing isn't right. My 2 breaths is her one. I cant bare the thought of having no one. im an only child. and so scared. I love you so much mum your a true fighter. Xxxx dad I miss you and hope your watching over mum xxxxxxxxx
Jun 25, 2011 4:51 PM
Guest :
I'm 20, its my 21 in 2 weeks. My dad passed 6 years ago when i was 14 of eusophacus cancer. It was a hard to watch mum go throughthis and dad being so scares. I was a daddies girl. We got a phone call on the 15 April that dad had passed in his sleep.
Last year in july mum was diagnosed with gallstones. She had scans and it turned out she had a cancerous tumour in her pancreas. At this time she weighed 24 stone ( she had lost a lot of weight as she started off as 30) so she went on a healthy eatibg scheme so she could be healthy enough for the whipples operation. She's had the procedure. She was told it had all gone away but she would need chemo anyway just to fight any remaining cells. Before she started the chemo we had found out the cancer had returned in the same spot but aroubd a blood vessel and there was nothing that they could do, so they gave her a year survival (this was January 2011) . Then the cancer spread to her liver. They gave her a few months in April. 3 weeks ago she went to the hospice just to rebuold her strength. As soon as she got there she went downhill. It turned.out she had an obstructed colon and hadn't had a bowel movement for 2 weeks. Last friday she was in a bad way, she was very confused and kept forgetting what she was saying. Her speech was very slurred and I found it difficult to understand what sgw was saying to me. I spoke to the doctorshe said she only had days and was verging onto hours. But thenshe passed a bowel movenent. Saturday she was her oldself laughing and being a chatterbox so she adked to go home and they coyldnt stop her. Today, a week later , she seems to be going downhill again. She keeps falling asleep whilt talkibg and her breathing isn't right. My 2 breaths is her one. I cant bare the thought of having no one. im an only child. and so scared. I love you so much mum your a true fighter. Xxxx dad I miss you and hope your watching over mum xxxxxxxxx
Jul 9, 2011 3:20 AM
Guest :
I have looked all over the internet for what you had told me. Its to the point. I started a new job six months ago working with dementia and Alzheimer patients. We have one trying to pass but is still holding on. Everything I read above explains how they look. I guess its just a matter of time. Again, Thank You!!!!
Jul 9, 2011 5:59 AM
Guest :
the atricle is very good, we are currently in the last leg of a battle with cancer, my husband will die soon, the journey has been amazing, it has brought the right things into focus and in odd ways enriched our lives. Once you have the diagnosis and have gone through all the treatments and the doctors say that its time to stop treatment..in our case, with lung cancer to the brain, further radiation would have been dangerous and could have led to stroke, we chose to go home and love eabh other, and although there are sad moments, the love and peace that our family has shown has realy helped him. We are experienceing this cancer, we are living and loving in spite of it. Yes, this time of year is hard, its sad and stressful...but if you allow yourself the oppertunity to really experience the emotions , I feel it will better prepare you for the end, and for life after the death of your partner, spouse child, parent or friend. I will miss him, so very much, but we took this cancer on and have been fighting for 18 months, and now we can rest, and just focus on today...give that to yourselves, experience the loss and emotion that naturally comes along with end stage cancer..give this to yourselves and your loved ones..becuse for me the healing has alraedy started, and our family has become so strong and close. When it comes to end stage cancer every day is precious, experience it and celebrate it. my husband is sitting in the recliner next to me, his breathing is a bit labored, and the hospic nurse has told us that his body has begun to shut down...but last night when I tucked him in, he looked me right in the eye and told me that he loved me....moments like that must not be missed...as hard as it is, we have been given the gift of saying goodbye..and I think that anyone who's lost a loved one and not had that chance...to say i love you, to hold a hand, to kiss a cheek..that they would say we are lucky indeed. every day is precious and when you're dealing with end stage cancer that becomes very clear.
Jul 11, 2011 12:42 PM
Guest :
My dad is 55 yrs old and is dying from many health problems due to drug use for many many years. My dad may have had personal demons to deal with but it never made him less of a person or bad father. Who always been willing to help others and put others first before him. This article has helped. I had seen death approach many times working in a nursing in housekeeping department. But never seen the true tale signs. Other than that they our so bad they are in bed for bout a week or two and then seeing them out of bed and acting like nothing ever happen then coming back in a day or two and seeing that they had passed. My dad has been suffering with the breathing seeing his heart pound through his chest to work very hard to stay alive. His veins are all pulsing hard and him not eating much other than some sweets and ice cream and drinking oj and water occasionally. He hasnt gotten up out of bed talking eating and asking bout things very alert. But I know that with his liver going and making his stomach bloated its only matter of time now. God its so hard cause I love him so much and just cant enough of him knowing the end is near for him. Just hope he goes peacefully. I just think that death is different for everyone and the signs can vary depending how hard they fight. And clearly he is fighting but reality is his health is falling slowly.
Jul 25, 2011 6:37 AM
Guest :
my grandmother died with cancer she was the best grandmother ever and i saw it happen as death came closer i lost sight of the old her and i still dont remember still seeing her take her last breath in my memorie is the hardest thing i had to deal with as a 16 year old
Sep 5, 2011 5:19 PM
Guest :
Informative but it should be known..Hospice is not an easy way to go..had to watch my sis suffer..starved and w/out water for 10 days. Very hard on my mom and my other sisters, my niece and my sis spouse. It is horrific and not for the weak. i just showed a brave face but the memories will always be there. told my kids to give me lots of sleeping pills cuz i don't want to put them thru Hospice. My advice...be prepared . You don't have to be there to witness death. Do what you feel, in yiur heart/mind is right. I was there until the day she died. her daughter n spouse stayed and said it was terrible...
Sep 11, 2011 5:35 AM
Guest :
This was very helpful. I was so stressed out when my mother died over a year ago. I was in denial and really thought she would pull through. Had I read this info prior to her departing, I more than likely would not have left the hospital that night. I am now caring for my 91 year old aunt and will keep all this in mind as she battles with her illness. Thanks
Sep 16, 2011 11:21 AM
Guest :
Thank You.
Oct 2, 2011 11:24 AM
Guest :
my farther has Dementia / Alzheimer's disease. today i got a text message saying my father has been taken to hospital for the 18th time in a matter of months,this time we think he is dieing as his breathing is low, he on oxygen and his eye are Glazed.. The nurse says it matter of time could be a few hours or a few days.

Even thought i love my father i think time is near, and i dont think nothing else can be done for him, i will miss him when he passes away, for his sake i hope it will be soon as i know he cant handle much more of this,he tried to end his life a few times now down to stress of Dementia / Alzheimer's disease but failed trying to end his life, now i think the end is near to him i hope it will be soon and peaceful, i wished i was there with him but cant afford the travel costs at this time and but hopefully will try and make the funeral when they lay him at rest.

Dad i love you, God be with you and rest in peace when you pass this life.
Your loving son Steven


This forum had helped me understand a little more, thankyou.
Oct 6, 2011 1:33 PM
Guest :
Just a update about my farther. last post here Oct 2, 2011 11:24 AM. Dementia / Alzheimer's disease.. I had the felling he would not last longer, he waited till my sister came back from her holiday Wednesday 05/10/11 i just had to get down to see him myself to which i was lucky to be able to do.
My sister and myself stayed with him the whole night talking to him and playing some Lionel Richie music he loved to listen to, we was sure he could hear the music and us talking to him but his eyes was so glazed i dont think he could see us, we noticed the had tears time to time or least we think they was tears in his eyes, we stayed all night with him until the final hour 9:05am 06/10/2011 he took his last few breaths when hearing his great grandson on the phone saying (Grand dad i love you) 2 deep breath and 1 exhale, then it was all over i had to go grab nurse to get it confirmed that he had passed away and they said yes it looks like it, the color was beginning fade away, we stayed a few more hors to say our good byes, so i was glad i had made it to see him on his final day.. We kept saying to him while he was alive it was ok for him to depart and to go and meet his family waiting for him ,his long lost mom, Brother and cousins,ect maybe this might of been wrong, maybe it might of been good and a help on his way. but im glad he is not suffering anymore now.. I left the hospital at 12:30 and got back home at 2:15pm, i had some sleep, but not much, now when writing messages on facebook and this message here i find myself a man of 47 keep crying for his Farther, i know it will pass but i Love him and miss him dearly I dont think i stopped crying since 6pm, tears keep cuming and going.

This Dementia / Alzheimer's disease needs to be sorted out just like any other disease we need cures now, and for the government to keep spending money on world wide diseases and not WAR.

I love my DAD and always will ,i will remember him for always he will be in my heart always and and will miss him lots,as will the rest of my family.

Now he can be in peace and go where he's past family went be for him and be together once again, and i hope he will await for me when my time comes.

Love you DAD your loving son Stephen Morgans
Oct 19, 2011 8:07 AM
Guest :
I really wish I would have read this months ago. My grandma died in March from cancer. My aunt moved her in to her house to care for her. When she started declining it happened quickly. Last Thanksgiving, I hadn't seen her for a few weeks when we met for dinner and I seen her she was in a wheel chair and had lost a lot of weight. She didn't seem like herself, she was asking questions like "how much time do I have left?". I could barely look at her without wanting to cry. The doctors had just told us they she wouldn't make it past the end of the year. I was glad that she made it to Christmas, New Years and until March but it was obvious that it wouldn't be long. She had some good days when she knew exactly who I was and would ask about school and my fiance'. There were also the days where she would barely be able to talk.
Nov 29, 2011 12:29 AM
Guest :
Even as I type, my wife,Lady and partner of 31 years is leaving this level of existence She is totally non-responsive and taking no fluids. With a syringe I give her morphine and lorazepam so she goes comfortable. Thank you for the article.
Jan 14, 2012 11:15 AM
Guest :
My Brother died at the age of 48 all his life he had dark brown eyes, and about 8 hours before he died his eyes turned a bright blue, my wife was not there with me while he passed and I explained this to her and she said when your born you have blue eyes and sometimes when you pass they return to blue..
Jan 24, 2012 12:27 PM
Guest :
This was so helpfull Thank You so much explains so many things Losing my brother in law
Mar 9, 2012 9:19 PM
Guest :
For years I worked night shift on a cardiac transplant unit. I have witnessed these signs and often sat with individuals who experienced the "energy" surge, waited for their loved ones to leave, then they would ask me to pray with them, read from the Bible or just stay with them, and then they would pass on. I think sometimes individuals want their final memories with family to be positive ones rather than what one might consider as sad ones.
Mar 13, 2012 11:39 AM
Guest :
My nanna has been in hospital for 3 weeks now and is dying of cancer, All the family were called over to the hospital onsat in early hours and were told it could be a couple of hours they stopped all fluid and just gave her painkiller to keep her comfortable, she has had different breathing, is cold to touch,and is sleeping alot,she is incontenant As of today she has been responding to questions and as constantly stayed awake she has told the family that she is scared to go to sleep incase she dont wake up, i really dont understand how she can go from only having a couple of hours to still being here to day IS THIS NORMAL ???????? PLEASE HELP I AM VERY CONFUSED
Mar 20, 2012 3:14 PM
Guest :
My son-in-law is dying from stage 4 liver cancer. They did have him on Nexavar but recently stopped it because it wasn't doing any good. His liver & spleen have stopped working & it is also affecting his gallbladder. They did tell my daughter that they were sending him home to die.She was telling me today that his stomach is swelling up & since he has a cathater she can see that his urion is turning real dark almost brown. I was just wondering if that was a sign of his kidneys shutting down. I know that just yesterday Hospice is coming only once a day. I live out of state & I was just wondering when I should go back there. Please RSVP Thanks for listining Kathy Clark DEJARI39@AOL.COM
Apr 13, 2012 4:28 AM
Guest :
Thank you, I really didnt know what to expect with my grandmother.
152 Comments
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