As the internet has become more and more accessible, cyber-bullying has become an increasing problem. Those who have experienced this will know how emotionally painful it can be to have someone watch your every move online and criticize and bully you.
How Does a Cyber-Bully Operate
Cyber-bullies operate in a number of different ways according to their age, sex, relationship with the victim, and what they are hoping to achieve. The following list is a summary of what a person may experience at the hands of an internet bully:
- Some cyber-bullies have internal aggression problems, which they release in the form of messages that inflame, provoke and irritate the recipient.
- Hate mails contain references to the sex, nationality and culture of their victim. They may infer that the person has no right to be in the country they are living in.
- Some cyber-bullies are attention seekers and may quote fictional ‘friends’ who agree with their sarcastic comments. Ignoring them can cause them extreme frustration and anger.
- The bullying may stretch over a period of weeks, months or years and is normally relentless. The victim receives criticism, comments, messages and threats on a regular basis – even daily in some cases.
- Unlike traditional bullying, cyber-bullying is generally all done through written words. The perpetrator normally refuses to communicate verbally or meet face to face when challenged to.
The Emotional Impact of Ongoing Cyber-Bullying
Cyber-bullying can have a deep emotional impact on the victim. Days, weeks and months of negative and abusive online messages can be draining and leave a person feeling helpless and alone. If the cyber-bully is not a person known to the victim, fear may also be a large part of the problem. They may have concerns that the cyber-bullying will turn to physical stalking or harassment. General emotional effects include the following:
- Repeated nightmares about the cyber bully or their accusations. These may be accompanied by changed sleep patterns.
- A loss of self-worth and self-esteem caused by the accusations and criticisms.
- Emotional distress when using the internet due to fear of further harassment and communication.
- Shock and disbelief at the level of intimidation.
- Depression and fear caused by the relentless attack on a person’s character.
- Feelings of being unwanted and displaced if the bullying includes inferences to nationality or skin color.
Finding Help When Emotionally Distressed by a Cyber-Bully
It is essential to ask for help if victimized by a cyber-bully. Look for someone who has some authority, who knows you and your character and who is willing to become involved. If you know the bully, confrontation with a third party’s assistance can be helpful. If they are anonymous, seek advice on how to block access to Facebook, email, cell phones and other electronic forms of communication. As a last resort, contact the police and seek some kind of restraining order against the perpetrator.
It is never all right to accept cyber-bullying. It can drain your time, emotional health and wellbeing. Stand firm against the accusations and resist the temptation to respond. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family and block the cyber-bully in every way possible.
References:
Cyber Stalking and the New Online Predators.Dark Psychology. Accessed 15 August, 2011
Issues Related to Bullying. Bullyonline.org. Accessed 15 August, 2011
Debbie Roome - Debbie Roome is an award-winning freelance writer, journalist and novelist with over 25 years experience.
